One Flew into the Cuckoos' Nest
by Quatermass
Summary: (Harry/Five-in-One! Inspired by Blood Brandy's Vegas challenge! Evil Dumbledore!) After an arduous fifth year, Harry going on vacation to Las Vegas seemed like a good idea at the time. But when he wakes up with a hangover, a wedding ring, and in bed with the psychic quintuplets known as the Stepford Cuckoos, well, his life is going to be changing, for better or for worse...
1. Foreword

**FOREWORD**

I've been meaning to do an _X-Men_ crossover for some time. My first attempts didn't go anywhere, despite my desire to do a Harry/X-23 story (which is still on the cards). But after a suggestion from whitetigerwolf, I decided to do my take on Blood Brandy's Vegas challenge, where a post-Book 5 Harry ends up in Las Vegas, married to a superhero. While the original challenge was meant for DC heroes rather than Marvel, I've seen variations with Marvel superheroes, and so, this came about.

Anyway, time for the usual disclaimers. Firstly, there will be spoilers for both Harry Potter and _X-Men_. That being said, this will be a fairly heavy AU for both. Earth-616, this ain't.

Secondly, there will be heavy annotations, as is usual for my works. You have been warned.

Thirdly, this is an M-Rated work. There will be coarse language, violence, dark themes and sexual references. Again, you have been warned.

Finally, the following is a fan-written work. Harry Potter and _X-Men_ are the properties of their respective owners. Please support the official release. Otherwise, the Stepford Cuckoos will flay your mind…


	2. Chapter 1: Diamond (Girls) Are Forever

**CHAPTER 1:**

 **DIAMOND (GIRLS) ARE FOREVER**

Ah, morning amnesia. People believe it's a bad thing, but in truth, it allows the mind to come to grips with a difficult situation one step at a time. It can stop some people from waking up screaming.

Of course, paired with a hangover, it can be the utter pits.

Emerald eyes flickered open blearily, only to snap shut, a groan of pain worming itself from between parched lips. It felt like an icicle was being stabbed through his skull. It was enough to make one a teetotaller.

The boy in bed was in his teens, rather scrawny-looking, his features framed by a messy thatch of black hair. On his forehead, partially covered by his coif, was a thunderbolt-shaped scar, just above his right eye. _Ugh, did anyone get the number of the dragon that stomped on me?_ he thought to himself as his brain rebooted, with difficulty.

First, his name: Harry James Potter. Then, his age: 16 (though as far as his fake ID was concerned, he was called James Evans, and he was 18). Then, his life so far: crappy.

In fact, the latest crappy thing to happen to him, as far as he could remember, was his godfather Sirius dying, and so many of his friends nearly following him. All because he got fooled by visions sent from Voldemort.

Then, came the will reading. Of Sirius emancipating Harry from beyond the grave. Of Dumbledore contesting it. Of the arguments that followed. Eventually, Harry was forcibly returned to 4 Privet Drive, only for Remus and Tonks to fetch him out of there. It seemed that Sirius had pretty much ordered Moony to take Harry on a vacation to the US. It took some tricky doing, but they went to Las Vegas, to celebrate Harry's 16th.

Most of that time passed in a blur, partly due to alcohol, and partly due to the rather surreal nature of the interiors of casinos, meant to act as a form of sensory deprivation. He vaguely remembered winning big on the fruit machines and all sorts of games, as if in compensation for his crappy luck in life. He vaguely remembered drinking, then speaking to a rather beautiful, if a bit straitlaced, blonde girl, though his inebriated state had him thinking there were five of them.

After that, things became more hazy and fragmentary. The only thing he remembered with any real clarity was Elvis…well, an impersonator, anyway. Then, something about a girl made of diamonds. That HAD to be something caused by drink.

Still, he had figured out the where, and a little of the why. Well, where the hangover was concerned. Though the odd amount of pressure on his body, especially his limbs, was odd. As if he was surrounded in bed by a number of naked female bodies, all curled up to him.

He opened his eyes tentatively, and found that he was, indeed, surrounded in bed by a number of naked female bodies, all curled up to him. Five of them, in fact. Identical quintuplets, in fact. All with the same regally beautiful features framed by white-blonde hair. And about his age, too. And was it him, or did they look vaguely familiar?

Somewhere, in whatever afterlife existed, Harry knew that Sirius would be seething with jealousy, managing to have it off with identical quintuplets. Harry wasn't sure whether he had had sex with them or not, but evidence suggested he had. It wasn't just his noggin that was sore. It was his everything.

Then, one of the girls stirred with a groan, one soon echoed by the others. They were waking up. "Ugh, my head," one of them remarked, opening her eyes and revealing icy blue irises. When she saw Harry, she blinked, confused.

"We've all got headaches, Sophie," another of the girls groused quietly. "Just don't speak so loudly."

"I don't know why Logan likes drinking so much. Then again, with his healing factor, he probably resists inebriation," a third muttered.

Soon, Harry was surrounded on all sides by the blonde quintet, looking at him in (mild) confusion and annoyance. He certainly shared both of those qualities, though his confusion wasn't mild. Eventually, the first one who spoke, Sophie, spoke. "You don't remember much of what happened, do you?"

Harry, reluctantly, shook his head. "Do you?"

"Only fragments," said another one. "But we've managed to put them together, and the story they tell is…"

"Well, let's be frank," another said. "If you didn't let us look into your mind last night, we would be angrier."

"Look into my…mind?" Harry blinked. He nearly got angry at their intrusion, given what Snape did, but he didn't know what the hell had happened last night, so he controlled himself with an effort. "Are you wizards?"

They snorted in derision simultaneously. "We know _of_ wizards," one of them said.

Another added, "But we're…different. We're telepaths, psychics, _Mutants_."

Harry's eyes widened in realisation. Now he knew who they looked like. "Mutants…are you related to Emma Frost?"

The five girls looked at each other, before Sophie said, "Our mother…after a fashion. We didn't tell you last night, though you guessed we were Mutants."

"At least you aren't as judgemental as many wizards," one of her sisters said. "Especially given who our mother is."

"Well, she's with the X-Men now, isn't she?" Harry asked.

Again, the sisters looked at each other. Eventually, they looked back to Harry. "Well, it's not as simple as 'she's with the X-Men, so she must be good', but you accept us better than most wizards," one of them said.

"Many think of us as Dark Creatures," another said. "Even here in the US, we haven't had the best relationship with MACUSA."

It was like talking to the Weasley Twins again…if they were blonde quintuplets who vaguely reminded him of Daphne Greengrass. "Well, as long as you're not with the Brotherhood or anything…so, what are your names?"

"Sophie."

"Phoebe."

"Irma, though most call me Mindee."

"Celeste."

"Esme."

"We call ourselves the 'Five-in-One'," Sophie said, "though some of our classmates call us the Stepford Cuckoos."

Harry blinked, before some weird connection made itself plain. "Wait…Sophie, Phoebe, Irma, Celeste and Esme…is another codename for you the SPICE Girls or something(1)?"

"May I?" Esme asked with an annoyed sigh.

"Be my guest," Sophie said, with Esme promptly swatting Harry lightly about the head.

"Ow. What was that for?" Harry asked, still feeling a bit bleary.

"Amongst other things, bad jokes," Esme said.

"You'll need a clear head for this next bit, though," Sophie said. "Just a moment."

The quintet of girls closed their eyes. And then, suddenly, Harry felt something not unlike a wave go across his mind. In its wake, there was no headache or hangover bleariness. He felt certainly more awake than he was before. "Okay, so…what was that? Some sort of psychic hangover cure?"

"More or less," Irma said. "We just stimulated certain parts of your brain, as well as having your brain ignore most of the hangover symptoms."

"Plus, we stimulated the parts of your autonomic nervous system that deal with your liver and kidneys to increase activity," Celeste added.

Phoebe nodded. "It's a temporary fix, but it'll last until your body metabolizes or flushes out the chemicals causing your hangover. Though drinking a glass of water would be recommended."

He had to admit, he felt much better now. "Okay, but I don't think I'll drink that much ever again."

Sophie scoffed gently. "That would be wise. Which brings us to the bad news. Look on your hand, specifically the ring finger."

Harry did so. And to his surprise, there was an actual ring on his ring finger. Three, actually. The Potter family ring, and the Black family ring, which he had gotten from Gringotts after Sirius' will was read. And a simple gold band which he hadn't seen before. He didn't remember donning any of those, though.

And then, with a sinking feeling, he looked around at the Cuckoos, who were holding up their own hands. And there were gold bands on each ring finger. "Oh no…" he muttered.

" _Oh yes_ ," the Cuckoos chorused eerily.

"We got hitched, didn't we?" Harry groaned. "Went into a chapel or something? Was the minister an Elvis impersonator?"

"And a First-Gen," Esme said. "What they call a Muggleborn here, because they call Muggles No-Majs in the US. So this marriage is legally binding in both mundane and magical worlds."

"You're married to Sophie legally, but as we are somewhat one entity…" Irma said, leaving it in the air.

"And, well, we consummated that marriage last night, in this room, which the casino only gives to high-rollers," Sophie said, blushing slightly, a blush shared by her sisters. "Well, I was the only one you actually coupled with physically, but my sisters…we shared senses, so the consummation was shared. And, well…for our first time, it was rather good."

The quintet nodded, their blush deepening. Well, to be complimented by her was an achievement, even if he couldn't remember coupling with her.

"And the diamonds? I had this weird vision of you all as living diamonds." Harry frowned when he remembered who their mother was. "Oh wait, Emma Frost can do that, can't she?"

"Of course," Celeste said, as the Cuckoos changed into diamond forms. Glittering and beautiful. "And so can we."

"Huh." Which was all Harry's mind, even with the hangover being suppressed, could come up with. Not the most intelligent of answers, but understandable, considering everything.

"I think his brain broke, Sophie," Esme remarked as they shifted back.

"It's a lot to take in," Sophie said. "He doesn't have a hive mind to share the load. Anyway, better that we ended up with him than Quire."

As one, they chorused, " _Ewww._ "

"Quire?" Harry asked.

"Quentin Quire," Sophie explained. "AKA Kid Omega. A fellow psychic at Xavier's School for Higher Learning, a rival…and he has designs on us…well, me in particular."

"He's a pervert," Celeste said with a grimace. "We sometimes hear his thoughts."

They all shuddered in unison. Harry said, "So, you're okay with this?" It's not like he was, but he wasn't sure what to think about the situation so far.

"Not really," Esme said.

"But…it could be much worse," Irma said.

"We liked what we saw in your mind," Phoebe said with a small smile.

"You'd fit in very well in the X-Men, even if you're not a Mutant," Sophie said.

"I'll have to take a raincheck on that," Harry said. "Marriage aside, I've got to get back home some time. Hey, speaking of which, do you happen to know what happened to my chaperones?"

"The werewolf and the shapeshifter?" Sophie asked. "Well…"

* * *

Remus was blinking the sleep from his eyes, and clutching his head, when he heard a voice from the bathroom door. "Well, we both had a good time last night, but I really shouldn't have done that. I was here as a favour for Charles to keep an eye on the others. I shouldn't have drunk as much as Tony when he's fallen off the wagon. Still, I'm sorry. You've still got a hangover, and I haven't."

Remus stared at the naked woman who was towelling herself off. The first thing he noticed was the emerald-coloured skin. The second thing that he noticed was her physique, muscled without being grotesque, and quite attractive, to say the least. So too was her face, framed by tresses of dark hair.

"Oh, right. You might not remember who I am. I remember who you are, Remus Lupin, so allow me to introduce myself. I'm Jennifer Walters, but some call me She-Hulk…"

* * *

Tonks was screaming her head off when she woke up, only to find a face like something out of a nightmare, riddled with lumps and scars. As she leapt out of bed, the man, who was wearing a red and black suit, yelped, "Hey, lady, calm down! We didn't sleep together, okay? I just came in here because, well, Quatermass found it funny, and frankly, so did I!"

Tonks stopped screaming. "…What?" she asked. "Who the fuck are you?"

"Just your friendly neighbourhood Deadpool. BTW, you didn't actually sleep with anyone last night, so you're not in THAT awkward a situation. You got a chivalrous one, he let you sleep on the bed while he used the couch. Just don't freak out about his looks."

"…What?" Tonks asked. Again.

"Wade? Is that you?" asked a voice with a German accent. "What are you doing in my hotel room?"

"Oh, just messing around, Kurt," Deadpool said, before he saluted. "Gotta fly!" And with that, he vanished in a strobe of light.

"I swear, he is like a cockroach," the man called Kurt complained, walking through into the bedroom.

Tonks just stared at the man who had walked in. Well, he didn't look like one. He was lithe and lean, with dark blue fur, yellow eyes, and pointed ears. A tail waved gently. If you looked past those elements, he was actually kind of handsome.

What's more, Tonks recognised him. Unlike many in the Order, she knew quite a bit about the superheroes of the world, and the X-Men in particular. "Umm, thanks for letting me have your bed."

"You're welcome. You had drunk a lot last night, you and your companions. You tried to drag me to some chapel run by a…how do you say in Britain? A Muggleborn? Yes. A Muggleborn dressed as Elvis Presley. I demurred, and, well, we got to talking some more, I couldn't find your friends, and…well, I brought you up here. I do not know why Wade was here, but he gets everywhere. Anyway, in case you have forgotten, allow me to introduce myself. I am…"

"Kurt Wagner, the Nightcrawler," Tonks said with a grin. "You've been with the X-Men, Excalibur…I used to have a poster of you in Excalibur a couple of years ago, along with Wolfsbane, Psylocke, and Colossus!"

Kurt seemed slightly nonplussed, but recovered. "Ah. Sorry, I was wearing my holographic disguise before. I thought my true appearance might frighten you. I'm glad that I was mistaken. I believe you said your name was Nymphadora Tonks?"

After a moment, Tonks said, "Kurt…well, assuming you don't mind me calling you by your first name…"

"Not at all."

"Thank you. Unfortunately, I'm going to have to be a hypocrite here, and ask that you don't call me by my first name. If you absolutely must, I'll be nice and let you call me Dora. I generally go by Tonks."

"What's wrong with Nymphadora, if you don't mind me asking?"

"My parents gave it to me. I got teased for it. Though I guess you probably got a lot more. Sorry, shouldn't have brought that up," Tonks said with a wince.

"It's all right," Kurt said with a wave of a three-fingered hand. "I've dealt with far worse from people who actually meant to insult me. Perhaps we should leave this for another time. I think we have charges we need to look out for."

Tonks winced. Yeah, he was right. She didn't know where Harry and Remus were. And as much as she admired the X-Men for being heroes, they also tended to be trouble magnets on a par with Harry. So she had better go and find them ASAP…

 **CHAPTER 1 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **So, there it is. Harry's hooked up with the Cuckoos, Remus and She-Hulk have gotten hitched, and Nightcrawler has been chivalrous with Tonks…though that doesn't mean wedding bells aren't in the future.**

 **1\. Which was apparently the original intention of Stepford Cuckoos creator Grant Morrison, as a reference to the Spice Girls.**


	3. Chapter 2: Fear and Loving in Las Vegas

**CHAPTER 2:**

 **FEAR AND LOVING IN LAS VEGAS**

The Cuckoos, rather helpfully, filled in Harry on more of the details he had forgotten in an alcohol-heavy fog. The very luxurious room he had been was a comp, a complimentary service offered to those who gambled a lot of money, and Sirius had set aside a fairly big portion of the Black fortune for Harry to gamble away on this trip. What was more, he had won fairly big, and had been given this room, presumably to avoid gambling any further and threaten the profit margin of the casino. As it happened, this casino was owned by a Squib who used special charms to detect cheating, and whatever Harry used was no specific spell.

This they did so while soaking in a Jacuzzi. A rather large one, enough to accommodate the six of them comfortably. Though Harry was still getting used to the fact that these girls were remotely comfortable with being naked in front of him.

And that was without going further into the situation. He'd be a lot angrier, but for now, he just felt a strange sort of resignation, that his life had thrown him another curveball. Plus, some of the fault was his for getting so damned drunk. He was angry at himself for doing that. But the hot water helped immensely.

"When's the last time we've tried a Jacuzzi?" Esme sighed quietly.

"Three years ago," Sophie said. "Just before Magneto's latest conniption wrecked half of the X-Mansion. We snuck in. This was just after we arrived."

"Oh, that's right."

"And we're hanging out with a celebrity, at least as far as the wizards are concerned," Phoebe said.

"We're still annoyed at the whole 'permanently binding marriage' thing, but there are far worse people to be bound to," Celeste muttered.

"So…run this by me again. The last time you saw Remus, he was getting hitched to the She-Hulk?" Harry asked. "And Tonks was being led away by Nightcrawler?"

"Yes, though you needn't worry about Tonks," Sophie said. "Kurt would never do anything to her. And Jennifer is virtually nothing like her cousin. Incidentally, we'll have to hurry this up. Your chaperones and ours are coming up soon. They're worried about us."

"Okay. I just have one very important question," Harry asked.

Sophie rolled her eyes as she read his mind pre-emptively. "Yes, you did use protection. I made sure of it, drunk as we all were."

"Okay. One, thanks. Two, that's rather…unnerving, having you read my mind…especially without my permission."

"It's rather hard not to," Irma said. "Your mental defences are, well, lacking."

"And given what we saw of those Occlumency…lessons that greasy-haired bully put you through, it's hardly surprising," Celeste said.

As the quintet rose and stepped out of the Jacuzzi, Sophie bringing Harry out, and handing him a bathrobe to conceal a very conspicuous erection, Harry asked, "What do you mean? Oh, don't tell me that wasn't the way to teach Occlumency?"

"Not properly," Sophie said, as she and her sisters also dressed in bathrobes. She looked over at the others, who nodded in unison, and left the bathroom, closing the door behind them. Sophie's icy blue eyes bore into Harry's own. "Technically, what Snape did could be considered a teaching of Occlumency, but it would be a technique used to test mental defences, not to force you to build them up. He skipped the fundamentals, probably deliberately."

Harry felt his anger welling up inside. "I should have known."

Sophie nodded. "I don't know what possessed Dumbledore, but given his past…well, you've noticed that Dumbledore has a bad habit of keeping information from you and not acting in your best interest. The prophecy, I can understand. That's not something you can give out lightly. But the so-called blood wards? He could have told you after your first year, and Hogwarts would have been better protection than your family. That obstacle course in your first year? While you and your friends were lucky to make it past all that, it still seems lacking for protection around the Philosopher's Stone, save for the Mirror of Erised, though that could have been to lure Voldemort into a false sense of confidence. Having you rescue Sirius and then doing nothing to clear Sirius instead of bringing matters up in the Wizengamot…it may not have done anything, but it could have helped pave the way to his freedom."

"Are you telling me that I can't trust Dumbledore?" Harry asked, his anger growing.

"Certainly not as much as you still do." Sophie closed her eyes and sighed. "Sorry, I know this is hard, and we haven't really had much experience with using tact. You find it hard to trust us. Partly because you only just met us, and partly because, well, we've been invading your mind. We do it on instinct to almost everyone, it's a bad habit of ours. We were born as part of a gestalt, a hive mind. It's only been recently that we've started to develop any kind of individuality. We scan people's minds on instinct to make sure they're not threats. If you want, we're willing to share our memories with you. We'll even help with protecting your mind. As we're stuck with each other, we'll have to make this work. And that will have to include dealing with Voldemort at the bare minimum. We're willing to help you, Harry."

Harry calmed himself down with an effort. Oh, he was still angry. Mostly at Snape, but a little at Sophie for demeaning Dumbledore. But she had a point. Dumbledore had kept too much from Harry, and had tried to keep Harry from gaining his inheritance. "Okay. I'll give you that much for now. But…"

Sophie looked up sharply. "Ah. Your chaperones are here. Along with Kurt and Jennifer. And Kurt's more than a little disapproving of the fact that we all got married in Las Vegas. He's a fairly devout Catholic, and he only came along to try and keep an eye on the X-Men coming over here. It seems that he let Tonks sleep in his room while he slept on the couch. Oh, and Deadpool was in his room. Marvellous."

"Deadpool?"

Sophie scowled. "The so-called 'Merc with a Mouth'. He's an insane, vulgar walking tumour, literally. He has the healing factor of Wolverine, the mouth of Spider-Man, and the insanity of the Green Goblin. Let's go out there. The initial argument's died down."

* * *

"…And while my knowledge of magical law isn't that comprehensive, Stephen once graciously lent me many books on the subject, including the laws of Magical Britain," said the green-skinned muscled woman who had to be Jennifer Walters. She sighed. "Oh well, can't be helped."

"Can't be helped?" Remus demanded. "But you know of my condition."

"And? My cousin does a lot more damage than you when he gets stressed. A werewolf's a doddle," Jennifer said with a smile. "Besides, you actually care about other people. Otherwise, you wouldn't be frightened of your condition."

The blue-furred demonic visage of what had to be Kurt 'Nightcrawler' Wagner was the first to notice Harry and Sophie emerging. His lips were set in mild disapproval, but that was about it. "Ah, Sophie, and Harry Potter, I believe," he said with his German accent.

Harry nodded. "Yeah. Sorry about this mess. I've been a fan of the X-Men for a while. Meeting like this, well…"

At this, a small smile came across Kurt's face. "Well, at least you are contrite. And if the Five-in-One trust you, well, I will trust their judgement. I am Kurt Wagner, or Nightcrawler."

"I know. It's a pleasure to meet you, even if it's under these circumstances," Harry said, offering his hand for Kurt to shake.

The demonic-looking Mutant's smile widened. "And you too."

"And I'm Jennifer Walters," Jennifer said, shaking Harry's own hand. "You probably know me as She-Hulk."

"Yes. Though I thought you were with the Avengers," Harry said.

"I came here as a favour to Professor Xavier," Jennifer said. "Plus, well, my cousin went off the grid recently. Last I heard from Tony, he was in Nevada. And if someone stresses him out, well, we'll soon know it. The Hulk tends to draw attention."

"And in other news, the ocean is wet," Tonks said, rolling her eyes.

"Kurt, are you all right with Tonks?" Sophie asked. "I mean, knowing she is a witch and a Metamorphmagus?"

Kurt shrugged. "Just because my mother had those powers doesn't make all shapeshifters a problem. Besides, she's a fan. And, thankfully, not a rabid one. Anyway, that is not what we should worry about. Remember, Emma's here. How do you think she's going to react to the fact that her daughters are now married?"

"She's reacting fairly badly," Celeste said. "We've been talking her down for the last few minutes or so via telepathy."

Esme nodded. "We've managed to talk her down to just slapping Harry in her diamond form. She originally wanted to psychically lobotomise him and physically castrate him. Both slowly."

"So, instead of being a drooling vegetable eunuch, you just get a bad bruise on your face," Sophie concluded.

"It could be worse," Phoebe added. "You could have slept with Laura. Who is Wolverine's daughter."

Harry thought of the Wolverine, the belligerent Mutant known for his healing factor, Adamantium skeleton, and three claws in each hand he could unsheathe at will. And he couldn't help but shudder. Harry got the feeling that Wolverine would NOT have stopped at castration. He'd be lucky to be alive, have any limbs or most of his digestive tract afterwards. "Still, slapped in the face by a diamond hand?" he asked.

"Our mother's done worse to others," Sophie said.

Any further words they had on the subject were lost when the building shuddered. "What was that?" Remus asked.

"Is it Death Eaters?" Tonks asked.

"Is it the Hulk?" Kurt asked.

The Cuckoos' eyes began to glow softly, before they groaned in irritated unison. " _It's the Shocker_ ," they chorused. " _He's robbing the vault_."

"The Shocker?" Jennifer demanded incredulously. "He's usually in New York. What's he doing robbing a casino in Las Vegas?"

"Probably staying away from Spider-Man," Sophie said. "We'd better get down there, people might get hurt."

"Not without getting dressed first!" Tonks snapped.

* * *

When they got down there, thanks to Remus and Tonks Apparating them (Kurt making his own way down), it was bedlam. The Shocker had blasted open a vault, and was staring incredulously at the Dragot coins(1). "Are these things made of real gold or something?" he mused out loud. "Well, that means I can melt them down. And why did those idiots wave those sticks at me?"

"Because they were wizards, moron," Tonks said.

The Shocker whirled. He was dressed in a red and gold padded bodysuit and mask, elaborate gauntlets on his hands. And judging by the resigned look in his eyes, he recognised the superheroes present. "She-Hulk, X-Men…oh, that's not fair at all!"

"I'm sorry, we don't care(2)," Jennifer said, cracking her knuckles. "Now, are you going to come along quietly?"

Shocker sighed. "No." He then triggered his gauntlets, and they dived out of the way as pulses of sonic energy raced towards them. "Can't I just catch a lucky break this once?!" he demanded, firing blast after blast at them. "Seriously, I'll bet that if I took a holiday the French Riviera, I'd run into the Fantastic fucking Four!"

Kurt teleported behind him with a _BAMF!_ noise, and kicked him in the back, sending Shocker sprawling towards Jennifer, who grabbed the man's gauntlets, and tore them off. "Sorry, Herman. You're not having a holiday anywhere after this."

" _Petrificus Totalus_ ," Tonks said with a wave of her wand, causing the Shocker to stiffen, and then topple to the ground. She followed it up by causing him to be bound by ropes. Tonks looked at Jennifer. "In your learned opinion as a lawyer, that doesn't count as excessive force?"

"Not by a long shot," Jennifer said with a smirk.

Remus, meanwhile, went over to one of the guards. After making sure he was all right, Remus asked, "Have the local Aurors been called?"

"No…I don't think so," the guard said as he was helped to his feet. "Bastard took us by surprise. Didn't realise it was some idiot No-Maj with weird weapons, just thought it was some kook. I thought most of that superhero shit happened in New York. The closest we've had to dealing with that normally was when Tony Stark came here once while on a bender."

Another guard, clutching his head and wincing, said, "What about that babbling idiot in the red and black jumpsuit who comes here every now and then?"

"We don't talk about him. It's like he has a Taboo curse on him," the first guard said. "He comes when you talk about him. Or even when you don't. Anyway, I'll go call the Aurors. Wait here, they'll need to question you guys…"

* * *

Charles Xavier sat in his office in the X-Mansion, his hands steepled, as he and Jean Grey had what could be vulgarly called a 'conference call' with Emma Frost. _So, correct me if I am wrong, Miss Frost, but it seems that the Five-in-One have somehow managed to become wedded to one of the most famous wizards in the world. And apparently Jennifer has managed to become wed to a werewolf. And Herman Schultz had made the mistake of robbing the casino you were at._

 _Yes. By the time I got there, it was over. I decided to prioritize the students' safety, as Kurt and Jennifer were dealing with the problem alongside my daughters and the wizards. I'm also very annoyed, Charles._

Jean smirked. _Are you sure this isn't karma biting you in the backside for having an affair with my husband within his head?_

Emma snorted in a rather unladylike-fashion. _I don't subscribe to karma. Anyway, if karma really existed, J Jonah Jameson would be Fin Fang Foom's bitch and Peter Parker would be Stark's biggest corporate rival by now. Anyway, my daughters managed to talk me down from dealing with Potter in a manner Shaw would have been proud of._

 _Just as well_ , Charles responded. _Remember, he is an icon of Magical Britain, albeit one whom the press had badmouthed over the past year or so, in a manner that would have made Jameson proud, given his crusade against Peter. I would actually like to meet Mr Potter. Once everything is settled in Las Vegas, would you please invite them to stay here until the time comes for them to return to Britain?_

 _Fine. These three at least are pretty non-judgemental for wizards. And Potter and the Tonks woman apparently know about the X-Men. I'll get them to come with us. Just a hint, Charles: be honest, and try not to read his mind. My daughters got a pass because they were worried about him being a threat, but one of his teachers, supposedly trying to teach him Occlumency, basically raped his mind continually. We're talking the sort of stuff you only use if necessary. The girls intend to try and help teach him how to protect his mind, but they've told me something privately, something they've detected within him._

 _Like what?_ Jean asked.

 _Funny_ _ **you**_ _should say that, Jean. You know how you are the vessel for the Phoenix Force? They've detected something similar, another entity inside him…or part of one. Through his memories, they found he has a mental link to Voldemort. But they think it's something else. It's like he has a fragment of Voldemort's soul in him…and that's something I cannot allow my daughters to be anywhere near. So we'll need to find a way to get rid of it_ …

 **CHAPTER 2 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **So, things have been cleared up, the Shocker got owned while trying to rob a magical casino, and the Cuckoos and Emma know about the Horcrux, even if they don't know the details.**

 **Now, the Shocker was based more, in terms of personality and his bad luck, on his Ultimate version, though his appearance is based on his standard look. I chose him as a villain because, well, I didn't want to just choose any ultra-powerful villain. I considered Magneto, but I have it in the back of my head that he's in one of his phases where he is, if not allied with the X-Men, then at least not heading up the Brotherhood, trying to do good. And I wanted the good guys to thwart an attempted robbery at the casino, not save the city.**

 **1\. According to Pottermore, the wizarding currency in the US is a Dragot.**

 **2\. This is a PG-rated version of the exchange between Jan Valentine and Integra in Episode 2 of** ** _Hellsing Ultimate Abridged_** **. I thought that Jennifer would rein in her language a little, instead of saying what Integra does, which is "** ** _I'm sorry. We don't give a fuck._** **"**


	4. Chapter 3: The X-Mansion

**CHAPTER 3:**

 **THE X-MANSION**

It was a couple of days later. Harry, Tonks, and Remus had joined the X-Men, along with Jennifer Walters, in the X-Jet, and had gone on a flight over to New York. On the flight back, Harry got to know some of the Cuckoos' classmates and superiors in the X-Men.

He hadn't received the expected slap from Emma Frost, who had managed to calm down by the time she had finally met Harry, though true to her name, she gave him something of a frosty attitude that Lucius Malfoy could have taken lessons from. She seemed protective of her daughters, albeit in a somewhat aloof way. He learned shortly before they went on the X-Jet that the Cuckoos were actually clones of Frost, originally developed by Weapon Plus, the same overarching organisation that founded the Weapon X program, the program that had given Wolverine his Adamantium skeleton.

Speaking of clones, Weapon X, and Wolverine, Harry met Laura Howlett, aka X-23, a female clone of Wolverine. The dark-haired, sullen girl was not exactly friends with the Cuckoos (and she didn't really have that many), but she seemed amused by the whole situation with Harry being wed to them. Her father seemed amused by the whole situation as well: the gruff Mutant wasn't on the best of terms with Emma Frost for a number of reasons.

Another pair he met were Remy 'Gambit' LeBeau and Anna Marie 'Rogue' Claremont(1). He knew of these two from what he had heard about the X-Men. There was Jubilation Lee, aka Jubilee, and Piotr Rasputin, aka Colossus as well.

Harry actually struck up a conversation with Anna Marie, Remy and Jubilee (who insisted on being called that), with Laura occasionally interjecting. Remy knew quite a lot of the magical world: during his time as a thief in New Orleans, Remy had contacts with the wizards there. The others had some grounding, thanks to lessons in the X-Mansion, mostly so that they could deal with Aurors or any other representatives of the MACUSA if they turned up.

The X-Men, the Avengers, and SHIELD had something of a rocky relationship with the Magical Congress of the USA, partly due to the fact that many in MACUSA viewed Mutants as Dark Creatures, and, well, they didn't even bother to make the distinction between Mutants and other superpowered people. Spider-Man, for example, was notorious amongst the Aurors for webbing them up, and he was, apparently, a Mutate, someone who got their powers granted to them externally rather than being genetically innate.

Harry had endeared himself to the Mutants present by openly calling the Aurors morons. He had to admit, he looked up to some of the older X-Men when he was younger. Jean Grey (who looked a lot like his mother, he thought in retrospect), Charles Xavier, Scott Summers, Wolverine, Hank McCoy…there were times, before the Hogwarts letter arrived, that he wished he really WAS a Mutant, and could train to be a superhero with the X-Men.

Soon, the X-Jet arrived in New York, and they disembarked. Frost, Kurt and Jennifer escorted Harry, the Cuckoos, Remus and Tonks through the X-Mansion. Eventually, they came to the office of Professor Charles Xavier, the leader of the X-Men, and entered.

The room was very much a luxurious, old-fashioned office, albeit with some modern amenities here and there. Seated behind a desk in a sophisticated wheelchair was Xavier himself, a serene-looking man with not a hair on his scalp. Flanking him was Jean Grey, a red-haired, green-eyed woman dressed in green and gold, and Scott Summers, a brown-haired man wearing a pair of ruby-tinted glasses.

"Good afternoon," Xavier said. "My name is Professor Charles Xavier, though I believe you may know that already." A wry smile touched his lips. "And my trusted colleagues, Scott Summers and Jean Grey. It's a pleasure to meet you all, especially you, Harry Potter. Would you care for a seat?"

There were some seats in front of the desk, seats which a grateful trio of wizards took, as did Jennifer and Kurt. Emma and her daughters remained standing. "It's great to be here," Tonks said with an almost childish grin. "I've dreamed of joining the X-Men."

"So have I," Harry admitted.

Xavier chuckled softly. "Well, that is quite a dream," he said. "I've been apprised of the circumstances of what happened in Las Vegas by Miss Frost. While I am somewhat disappointed that some of the students in my care ended up in such a situation, I am not angry. Concerned, yes. But if the Five-in-One trust you, then I will too. They, along with Miss Frost, Jean, and myself, are amongst the most powerful, if not THE most powerful, psychics in the world. They've also told me that you've had considerably bad experience with mental intrusion, so I won't read your mind unless you give me your express consent, Harry."

"Thanks," Harry said, albeit a bit warily. Not that much: he admired Xavier for his work, but there had been some incidents involving Xavier which hadn't been so good, apparently. Plus, just because he was effectively headmaster here didn't mean much: look at Dumbledore. He was also a bit annoyed at the Cuckoos at sharing such information.

"You're welcome. You are aware of what we do here, am I correct?"

Remus spoke up. "I don't know much about your organisation, but what I do know…well, broadly-speaking, there are three purposes to this place. It's a refuge for persecuted Mutants, you give them both a means to control their powers and be educated in a safe environment, and you also train some to join the X-Men."

"That is, broadly speaking, correct, Mr Lupin," Xavier said. "While our jurisdiction is mostly with Mutants, we also have dealt with Mutates, those who have their powers granted externally. Jennifer, for example, gained her powers partly thanks to a transfusion of blood from her cousin. Spider-Man was bitten by a mutated spider. The Fantastic Four were irradiated by unusual cosmic radiation. And I believe Miss Tonks has already had the misfortune of encountering Wade Wilson, better known as Deadpool. That being said, on occasion, we have also had the occasional magical. Wanda Maximoff, or the Scarlet Witch, for example, is one of the few who is both a Mutant and a witch. In summary, we are a refuge for many who have a reason to fear the ignorant and bigoted of the world. We may focus on Mutants, but in truth, any who are persecuted for their powers are welcome here."

"Okay, so, why exactly are we here, then?" Remus asked.

"The Five-in-One are students in my school, and as they are now wed to Harry, I would like him to be here for a period before he has to return to England, assuming he wishes to go back to Hogwarts. In addition, with your permission, I intended to offer my services to train your mind to block intrusion, Harry. I am aware the Five-in-One made this offer to you personally, but both Jean and I are willing to help as well."

After a moment, Harry nodded, albeit reluctantly. "As long as you don't do it like Snape did. Why Dumbledore thought that was a good idea…"

"Good. And given the possibility that, sooner or later, you will need to face Voldemort, well, you may use the facilities here to train if you wish. We have a combat simulation chamber known as the Danger Room that could prove useful in honing your magic. Finally, with your permission, I would like to investigate something."

"What is that?" Harry asked.

"The Five-in-One told me of your mental connection to Voldemort. Please, don't be angry with them," he hurriedly interjected, holding up his hands in a placating manner. "They were concerned about that, as indeed any psychic should. In equivalent computing terms, that is allowing a backdoor into your own mind, a weakness that your enemy could use at will, and Occlumency may only do so much. Take it from someone who has suffered more than his fair share of psychic attacks over the years: they are highly overrated and highly unpleasant."

Harry was indeed angry at the Cuckoos sharing this, but in retrospect, he could understand it. That connection had gotten Sirius killed, anyway. What good would it be? The best thing he'd gotten out of it was saving Arthur Weasley's life from Nagini. "Are you proposing to block it?"

"Remove it completely, if possible," Jean said. "Charles has also asked Doctor Strange for some tomes to consult. In fact, we believe we know what is the origin of your mental connection to Voldemort, or at least have narrowed it down to a few possibilities. As Charles said, we won't intrude on your mind without permission."

"What do you think it is?" Remus asked suddenly, his face urgent. "I'm versed enough in the Dark Arts to be a teacher of Defence Against the Dark Arts, I might know what it is."

Xavier and Jean looked at each other, and then at Frost. Eventually, Xavier said, "The most likely possibility, albeit one that we are yet to confirm, is a Horcrux."

Remus began to gape in horror. "A Horcrux," he said flatly. He suddenly looked far older than ever, and that was saying something for the prematurely-aged werewolf. "Do you think you can remove that from Harry without killing him?"

"I believe so, or at least remove its connection to Voldemort," Xavier said.

"What the hell is a Horcrux?" Harry demanded, feeling a pit of dread form within his stomach. Whatever that was, it couldn't be good.

"One of the foulest pieces of magic," Remus said. "I've only come across references, never details beyond general things. But it does fit. Horcruxes are…well, a phylactery, a kind of vessel to keep the soul in. Or rather, part of it. According to what I read in the Black family's library, as well as my own Mastery in DADA, you use a ritual, a really Dark one, to prepare both your soul and the object that you intend to use as a Horcrux. Then, you commit murder, cold-blooded murder. It sunders the soul, and because of the ritual, you can take half of your soul, and place it into the Horcrux. That way, if your physical body perishes, you survive in this plain as a wraith, anchored by the Horcrux. But…it doesn't make any sense."

"What doesn't?" Tonks asked.

"Nobody's ever tried to create a living Horcrux before, and while Voldemort's insane enough to try, I don't think he meant to turn Harry into one. I think he intended to use Harry's murder to create one instead, and maybe whatever Lily used to protect Harry did something to Voldemort, something that caused a fragment of his soul to be bound to Harry."

"Then we need to remove it!" Harry snapped.

"Only one problem, Harry," Remus said. "The only known ways of removing a Horcrux from an object is to destroy the object beyond magical repair. Basilisk venom, for example, or maybe Fiendfyre. I'm sure the Killing Curse would do the trick either, as it blasts the soul from the body."

As Harry began to hyperventilate, he felt the arms of Sophie gently wrap around him. "Harry, he said the only _known_ ways of removing a Horcrux."

Jennifer nodded. "I know a little about the magical world, but I know you've got goblin bankers, and don't they have curse-breaking experts? And there's always Stephen. The Kamar-Taj and their acolytes use different magic to most, but that could be a good thing."

"And we've had dealings with entities sharing the minds of others before," Xavier said. "Removing or quelling them. You may know about Jean's struggles in harnessing the Phoenix Force, though you may not know of my own struggles with Onslaught or Cassandra Nova. I assure you, we have experience. And even if we cannot, we know people who can help."

Harry was still on the verge of panicking. His anger had sublimated into dread and anxiety, wholly at the thought of having a piece of Voldemort's soul within him…and that the only way to get it out might mean his death. "Can…can I have time to think about it? Please?"

Xavier nodded. "Girls, as he is your husband, take him to your quarters for now."

* * *

As Harry was gently led out by the Cuckoos, Scott said, "It was a lot for him to take in."

"He's been through a lot, more than anyone should," Tonks said. "Not quite as bad as some of you guys here, but…"

"I understand," Charles said. "And considering that he has learned he has a death sentence over his head, even more than with Voldemort wishing to kill him…that being said, he desired honesty. I gave it to him. There have been times when I, admittedly with the best of intentions, kept secrets from people. And they came back to bite me."

"Is he going to be all right?" Remus asked.

"If there are any problems, the Five-in-One will promptly contact us and, if it is medical in nature, Hank," Charles said. "The only better medical facilities in New York are either in the Avengers Tower, or in a SHIELD base. Psychologically, I cannot say without probing his mind, but I won't do so until he is ready. It's more likely that the Five-in-One will be the ones working to help him get through this, and to actually work on removing the Horcrux, if that is what it is. They've already achieved a level of intimacy with Harry in many regards. And in truth, I think being with Harry might be good for them."

Emma scoffed quietly. "Being bonded to a teenaged wizard with a psychotic warlock on his case? Potter is not healthy, psychologically speaking, and who can blame him? He's been adored and scorned by that inbred cesspool known as Magical Britain in equal measure, and he's probably expected to save them from Voldemort, a wizard with decades more experience and infinitely less scruples. And that's without going into Dumbledore."

"Why Dumbledore?" Scott asked. "He's supposedly the Leader of the Light in Magical Britain, from what I gathered."

"And sometimes, it is paragons who fall the hardest," Charles said quietly. "In any case, Dumbledore is not our problem at this moment. The problem is how to make sure Harry will survive…"

 **CHAPTER 3 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **So, yeah. Harry's learned some rather difficult things. But can he cope? Let's find out…**

 **1\. In my abortive harem fic** ** _X-Celsior_** **, Claremont was the last name I gave Rogue, after her co-creator, Chris Claremont.**


	5. Chapter 4: One Flew into the Cuckoos'

**CHAPTER 4:**

 **ONE FLEW INTO THE CUCKOOS' NEST**

The room of the Cuckoos wasn't exactly what Harry expected. Given their earlier, somewhat detached attitudes, he half-expected a clinical, sterile, rather Spartan room. Instead, it actually felt like the room of a group of teenaged girls, albeit somewhat neat and tidy. Though instead of pop music posters, there were posters of classical musicians, like Beethoven and Mozart. There was even a poster for that old film _Amadeus_ on the wall. The bed was rather large, so he guessed that the sisters slept together. It actually felt lived-in to a degree.

Still, even that he noticed only with part of his mind. The rest was turned inwards in anxiety and panic. Okay, he had known, long before Dumbledore told him about that damned prophecy, that he had a death sentence over his head thanks to Voldemort. But now, he had this damned Horcrux in his head, and with possibly no way to get it out than to kill him. And Harry had no illusions: Cedric's death had shattered them, and Sirius' had ground them into powder. He had cheated death by luck and a touch of skill before, but sooner or later, that luck would run out.

He was led over to the bed by the Cuckoos, and gratefully, he sat down on it. The Cuckoos sat around him on the bed, Sophie and Esme sitting closest to him. He realised they were being protective of him. There was something about that realisation that gave him comfort, and soothed his anxiety a little.

After a moment, Sophie said, "We know all about your life, Harry, but you don't know enough about us."

Esme nodded. "This is meant to be a relationship of equality…insomuch as one with five girls and one boy can be equal."

"You told me on the jet that you were clones created by Weapon Plus," Harry said.

"But nothing much beyond that," Irma said. "Here, we'll show you…"

* * *

And suddenly, he was somewhere else, in a vast chamber. He couldn't tell where, only that there was a strange dim green light everywhere, and he was alone. At first, he thought he was in a hilly area on some alien world, populated by strange, cylindrical plants.

But then, he realised what he was looking at. The cylinders were tanks, filled with greenish liquid. And each and every one of them was occupied by a naked girl. Each of them identical to the Cuckoos. The clones' eyes were half-open, their mouths open in an imbecilic gape as they breathed the oxygenated liquid they floated in. Tubes entered their bodies at various points, carrying away waste and delivering nutrients and drugs, he supposed.

"What is this place?" he asked in horror.

One of the clones opened her eyes. The tank drained, and she coughed out the liquid she had been breathing, before stepping out, removing the tubes as she did so. Then, she strode towards him. "It's called The World. A secret facility of Weapon Plus in England. In this chamber, and many others, time runs differently to the rest of Earth. We were born here, all of us, in one of these tanks. Our growth was accelerated: we were thirteen when the Five-in-One were first released, though only a few years had passed outside The World. We were born from cells harvested from our mother. All for one purpose."

"And what was that?"

"A living weapon. We were a vast psychic array, designed to exterminate all Mutants via a massive psychic attack. Wolverine and X-23, along with Deadpool, were part of Weapon X, but the 'X' is actually the Roman numeral for '10'. We were Weapon XIV." The clone looked out across the bizarre chamber. "We were created by an entity called Sublime, a sentient bacterial colony who wishes for Mutant extermination. However, Excalibur, with the help of another Weapon Plus subject called Fantomex, stumbled across our sisters a few months ago. The Thousand-in-One. We were freed from Sublime's control. However, most of us were destroyed by Sublime's self-destruct sequence. The rest of us now work with Excalibur, diminished, but alive, and learning to live. Technically, we are now the Fifty-in-One, but the Five-in-One are the parts of us who have lived more, and have developed more."

Harry looked at the naked Cuckoo in front of him, and trying very hard to look at her face, and not her very gorgeous body. "And you are one of them?"

"I am _all_ of them. We exist in a hive mind, Harry, a gestalt. In many regards, we are the same person, even if the Five-in-One have developed individual quirks of their own," the Cuckoo said. "And you are currently within that hive mind. You should feel privileged. We have let none in so deeply, not even our mother. But as we have delved so deeply into your past and secrets, we felt it best to return the favour."

"I…uh…thanks," Harry said. "But why are you naked?"

"Because this is our true self, stripped of any pretence or trappings." She sighed. "It's _symbolic_."

"I'm not complaining, it's just that the symbolism is a little lost on me," Harry said, blushing.

"That's because you're thinking with your _penis_ ," the Cuckoo sighed again in irritation. "You're better than Quire, but even so, it's irritating. One moment…" She closed her eyes, and then, a figure-hugging white bodysuit appeared. While it left little to the imagination, it was at least better. "Less distracting?" she asked wryly.

"Uh, yes, very," he said hastily. He supposed it could be worse for his libido. She could be dressed like how her mother had dressed before.

She smirked. "Oh, don't worry. We can do that stuff later. If you managed to do so well while we were all drunk, then imagine what it'd be like sober." With that, she gestured, and The World swirled and melted away, to be replaced by the extensive grounds of the X-Mansion, right next to a sign declaring it to be Charles Xavier's School for Higher Learning. The Cuckoo looked at the grounds rather wistfully. "This is the current representation of our minds. We may have been born to destroy the X-Men, amongst others, but we have come to see this place as our home. We have friends here, even if they aren't many. We were sent as cuckoos into the nest by Sublime. When some of our peers called us the Stepford Cuckoos, they were more accurate than they knew. But over time, we preferred this place to what Sublime had in mind for us."

"I can't blame you."

The Cuckoo nodded. "Let's see your mind, shall we?" And with that, she waved her hand. The grounds of the X-Mansion swirled and changed into the grounds of Hogwarts Castle. Only…it seemed damaged.

"What's going on?" Harry demanded when he saw the state of the castle. Parts of it seemed broken, even destroyed, and while mostly intact, it was certainly in far worse condition than Hogwarts was in real life.

"This is your mind, Harry," the Cuckoo said. "Hogwarts feels like your home, so it's what maps onto your psyche when we enter. Snape was correct, in this much if nothing else, in that mind-reading is a gross oversimplification of the true nature of psychic reading of a mind. But as skilled psychics, we can simplify the process by instinct. It is what we see, using the association of what you consider a home as a representation. It's like with a computer program: while a program is made of programming language or binary, the end result, interpreted in the right way, can show an image, or a video. The damage to the castle is due to mental attack, as well as mundane psychological damage. The latter would manifest itself as neglected parts of the building, while the former looks like something actually actively damaged the building."

"…And the Horcrux is somewhere here, isn't it?" Harry said with a shudder.

The Cuckoo nodded solemnly, before she touched his shoulder. A blur of motion, as if they had entered the castle at ridiculously high speed, going down corridors and the like, before they arrived in what seemed to be the Chamber of Secrets. "Every mind has its oubliette, for memories it tried to forget," the Cuckoo said. "And this… _thing_ , by instinct, headed there to hide itself from you."

The disgust in her voice was evident as she pointed out something curled up on the floor. Harry recoiled when he saw it: what looked like a flayed infant, red raw skin. With a start, he realised it looked like Voldemort, with no nose, and red, slit-pupilled eyes. "Have you seen this?"

"We never went this far. We only sensed it," the Cuckoo said with disgust. "We're not regretting waiting until now to see it. And it does feel like only part of a soul."

"I had this in me the whole time," Harry said flatly, trying to suppress the anger and disgust welling up inside him. "How fast can you get it out?"

"It depends on whether you want to live or not, obviously," the Cuckoo said. "And to be frank, we don't know. As Jennifer said, there are other avenues to try first. Gringotts seems to be a logical place to start. And there's Doctor Strange himself. And if that doesn't work…then we will do it ourselves. We will not let you have this Sword of Damocles hanging over your head."

There was another sensation of blurred movement, and they were now on the Astronomy Tower. As the Cuckoo walked over to the edge of the tower, looking out across the grounds of Hogwarts, Harry, as he followed, asked, "Do you think it's possible for me to learn Occlumency? Or any kind of mental defence?"

"It's not an art exclusive to wizards. Many in SHIELD, HYDRA, and other organisations have the ability to block psychic attack, to varying degrees, merely through discipline. Snape was right in that emotional control was a key factor, but that is merely part of it. He was not a good teacher, throwing you in the deep end, and letting you sink or swim," the Cuckoo said.

"He hates me," Harry growled. "I mean, my dad bullied him, but…anyway, why does he hate me? Is it because my dad hooked up with my mother? My mother seemed to be friends with him once."

The Cuckoo snorted. "It's obvious. He was infatuated with her. He probably hates you for being the child of your mother and father. How petty of him…"

Harry now felt all sorts of anger towards Snape. While it was true that he didn't like the way his father and Sirius bullied Snape, Snape had been a bully towards Harry in his own turn, ever since their first class. Dumbledore claimed Snape was their ally, but Harry knew that Snape only saved him out of obligation, not out of any goodwill. Even if Snape wasn't on Voldemort's side, he was certainly on nobody's side but his own, Harry realised in a moment of clarity.

A rumble of thunder in the distance. The Cuckoo looked up at the clouds gathering in the distance. "You're getting angry," she noted. "We can't blame you. But we don't think that…" She blinked, her blue eyes glowing. "What the…?"

"What?" Harry demanded.

The Cuckoo hurried to his side, and put her hand on his shoulder. Once more, the sensation of movement. And then, they were in the Hogwarts Library. She was then striding off down the aisles, Harry sprinting to catch up. In fact, they ended up deep into the Restricted Section long before the Cuckoo skidded to a halt. There, on a lectern in front of them, was a book, wrapped in chains. A lot of them, enough that it was hard to tell there was a book under there.

The Cuckoo glared at the chained-up book, before she said, in a tight voice with barely-controlled anger, "Harry…we will leave now."

"What do you mean, what is that?"

"Harry, when you learn what we have just seen, you will need somewhere to vent your anger. And while we could create a destructible landscape in your mind, we think you would prefer something real to destroy. The Danger Room might be best."

Without any further preamble, Harry felt himself being hauled through the air…

* * *

…And then, he was flopping back onto the bed in the Cuckoos' bedroom. Sophie looked at the other Cuckoos, who nodded, and all left the bedroom. "Where are they going?" Harry asked.

"To the Danger Room to set it up," Sophie said. "Danger doesn't mind us, though she has issues with Professor Xavier for various reasons. Danger is the intelligence in charge of the Danger Room, before you ask."

"What is it?" Harry demanded. "What is it that you saw in there that makes you think I would be angrier than I was before?"

"That book in the library…that is a representation of powers that have been bound and sealed. But not magical powers. We'll have to get you tested by Doctor McCoy to make absolutely sure, but…I think you have an X-Gene. I think you may be a Mutant. And I think someone sealed your powers…"

 **CHAPTER 4 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **Well. That just happened.**

 **I was originally going to make it so that Harry was just a plain magical for this story. But the lure of Harry being a Mutant as well, tying him further to the X-Men, was too good to resist. You don't like it? Well, don't read, and don't complain, and don't let the door hit you on the way out. Same goes to those complaining about me preventing any conflict by having Harry know about the X-Men and the Cuckoos reading his mind. There will be conflict soon enough, but if you don't like the way the story is going, then leave, and don't waste my time or yours complaining about it.**

 **Now, my characterisation of the Cuckoos here, as having a single intelligence, isn't strictly speaking what was done in the comics, AFAIK. But it seemed like a logical step to take, especially if enough of the clones survived. I've modified exactly how and when the Thousand-in-One were discovered, so, no Phoenix Force massacre of the clones, just Sublime being a big bacterial dick. They still have individual personalities where the Five-in-One are concerned, but the other Cuckoos are currently little better than biological robots, albeit developing away from that. Like the Genomes in** ** _Final Fantasy IX_** **, once they escape Terra.**

 **Review-answering time!** **TimothyB** **: Sophie will take the lead in the relationship, but they all are in the relationship.**

 **No numbered annotations this time.**


	6. Chapter 5: Unchained Powers

**CHAPTER 5:**

 **UNCHAINED POWERS**

The grapevine of the X-Mansion is pretty well established, and rumours and information gets passed along quickly, especially when psychics are involved. True, the top psychics of the X-Men (Professor Xavier, Jean Grey, and Emma Frost) weren't involved in that. They had to (theoretically) set an example for the children.

It was Rogue, Gambit, and Jubilee who started discussing the marriage of the Cuckoos to Harry Potter (the only person X-23 told was her habitual roommate, Sooraya 'Dust' Qadir, who was mostly certainly not a gossip), and it shortly reached the ears of a certain Quentin Quire, who gave himself the codename of 'Kid Omega'.

Quire was somewhat insufferable, to say the least. He was one of the most powerful psychics in the world, and the personal student of Professor Xavier, but while Xavier was trying his best, Quire was, frankly, a somewhat-entitled brat who had both a rivalry with the Cuckoos, and a crush on them, namely Sophie. So when he heard that Sophie got married in Las Vegas, and to a wizard, of all things, he got angry.

Despite the Cuckoos' disdain of him, he felt himself entitled to them. Rather stupid, but despite having a near-genius intellect, he also had a vast ego and teenage hormones. So, upon hearing of this wizard managing to wed them, he made plans. While in his room, he began to reach out with his mind. He soon found Harry Potter's mind, currently filled with anger…and he knew where he was. The Danger Room.

Quire smirked. While he couldn't do anything to the Danger Room itself without Danger knowing (and that gynoid hag had gotten very good at detecting mental intrusion, thanks to its own paranoia about getting mentally suppressed again), save for maybe one or two things, Harry himself was another matter. He didn't have psychic defences worth shit. Boosting anger here, tweaking the recklessness there, turning down the ol' self-preservation instincts…not that there were many in the first place…and Quire could also influence this little puppet who had the gall, the temerity, to steal what was his, to commit suicide.

* * *

The Cuckoos watched on from the observation deck of the Danger Room. Standing by their side was a most extraordinary figure, an apparently female being, created from blue metal into a crude approximation of a woman. The hair was thick dreadlocks of cable, the eyes keen and analytical. This was Danger, the artificial intelligence that arose within the systems of the Danger Room, a consciousness that Xavier, in one of his least wise decisions, suppressed. Danger re-emerged years later, and was, understandably, upset with Xavier. While the two were still not on good terms, a détente of sorts had been reached.

" _Your husband appears to be in a rather aggressive state_ ," Danger said in a flanging, metallic voice. " _Incidentally, should I offer congratulations to you on getting wed?_ "

"If you want," Celeste said.

" _Then congratulations. Though it seems he has anger issues. I sympathise. I sometimes use this proxy body to work out frustrations in my room_." The gynoid frowned. " _That last sentence was a potential double entendre, wasn't it?_ "

"Yes," Esme said.

Danger nodded. " _I'm keeping the level at an easy, albeit variable, level. While his power and abilities are impressive, he's clearly nowhere near as combat trained as most who use the Danger Room are._ " The gynoid's frown deepened. " _In fact, if anything, he's getting sloppier._ "

Sophie went over to the screens, and frowned. Danger was right. In fact, Sophie was sure that something bad was happening. Then, suddenly, Harry stepped _into_ the path of a blade, impaling himself on it. Not right through the heart, thankfully, but right through the abdomen.

"Danger, stop the simulation now!" Sophie demanded.

" _Already shutting down. I'll summon Dr McCoy and Mr Foley, too_ ," Danger said. " _That blade should not have popped out during this setting. Something interfered._ "

Sophie and her sisters hurried out the door, heading for the Danger Room's actual entrance. As they did so, they reached out with their minds, bringing them back into contact with Harry's, to find out what was going on. And for a fleeting second, they felt a presence there that withdrew hastily.

It was fleeting, but they knew who had done this. They knew whose greasy little psychic fingerprints were all over this incident. And they knew who they had to punish.

Quentin Quire.

* * *

Quire cursed quietly as he withdrew from Harry's mind. Danger was more on the ball than he had hoped, and while he had managed to make that blade come up at the right moment, Danger had shut it down before he could finish the job. What was more, the Cuckoos had looked for interference, and he couldn't be certain that they hadn't spotted him.

Still, he was Quentin Quire. Kid Omega. He had the power to be able to surpass that dithering fool Xavier, that stuck-up tart Frost, or that wouldn't-stay-dead Grey. He would bluff his way out, and if not, then he would fight his way out. After all, some cheap Xerox knockoffs of Emma Frost wouldn't be able to stand up to him…

* * *

When Harry woke, it was to a most extraordinary sight. Most people would have flinched at the blue, bestial face peering down at him concernedly, even if they knew it was Doctor Henry 'Hank' McCoy, known to many inside and outside the X-Men as the Beast. But Harry had seen enough of the original X-Men to have admired Hank, so the most he did was start slightly. "Please, don't move," Hank said.

Harry blinked, and found a golden-skinned, white-haired teenager touching his stomach, with Harry realising his shirt had been removed. "What happened?" he asked.

"Don't you remember?" Hank asked.

"We found traces of psychic interference, Doctor," Sophie said, the Cuckoos gathered around him. "Harry, you got angrier and angrier while in the Danger Room, more reckless. Then, a blade impaled you. Josh is finishing healing you: he has the ability to manipulate your body's biology so that it heals quickly."

Harry couldn't remember that, just his session in the Danger Room dissolving into a sort of crimson haze. Harry looked at the golden-skinned teenager, before giving a shaky smile. "Thanks."

"You're welcome," he said. "I'm Josh Foley, though many around here call me 'Elixir'."

"This is our fault," Celeste muttered. "We should have put better protection on your mind as soon as we could."

"We're actively shielding your mind now," Esme said, placing a hand on Harry's cheek.

"They're very protective of you," Hank said with a smile. "I was just discussing with Charles about your wedding to the Five-in-One."

It was odd, being examined by a big furry blue beast in a labcoat while a golden-skinned teen healed you, and a quintet of psychic sisters protected you, Harry reflected. He had been so inured to weirdness thanks to Hogwarts, and yet, when he stepped back and looked at it, it was a strange situation. He was surprised at how accepting he was of the situation.

Then again, joining the X-Men had been a dream of his. A silly childhood dream that had all but been forgotten when he got his Hogwarts letter from Hagrid, in what felt like an eternity ago, but after hearing about them, he had wanted to join them. He also knew Dudley admired them, despite Vernon and Petunia disdaining Mutants as freaks.

Harry remembered seeing new broadcasts of the X-Men, and other superheroes, like the Avengers, Spider-Man, Daredevil, the Fantastic Four. He wondered how there could be any room in New York for them all. Another part of him fervently wished for superheroes to come and rescue him from the Dursleys. Not that it ever happened.

Hank looked over Harry's body as Elixir finished his ministrations. " _We are oft to blame in this_ ," Hank murmured softly. " _Tis too much proved that with devotion's visage and pious action we do sugar o'er the Devil himself._ "

" _Hamlet_ , Act Three, Scene One," Irma said(1).

As Hank took a sample of blood, Harry asked, his annoyance flaring up again, "What are you doing?"

"Testing to confirm what the Five-in-One have claimed, that you are a Mutant. Not that I distrust the girls' opinion, you must understand. But I am a scientist at heart, and prefer to confirm such things myself. Indeed, I have been working with more cooperative elements of MACUSA to determine the biological foundation of magic, and whether it has any link to Mutants and their powers. Unfortunately, few are willing to cooperate. MACUSA is a very conservative organisation, even more so that your Wizengamot, I have heard." He chuckled. "Would you believe that, until some decades ago, wizards and witches weren't allowed to marry No-Majs in the United States?"

"I didn't know," Harry said. "But what was with that _Hamlet_ quote?"

Hank looked uncomfortable, before he said, quietly, "If you don't wish to speak about it, it's fine. But I see many people pass through my hands with a medical history like yours."

Harry fought to keep a scowl off his face at what was presumably an allusion to his abuse at the hands of the Dursleys. Hank was only trying to help. "Do any of those people have bloody scars from Basilisk bites?"

"No. Was that the scar on your arm? I found that one most curious from a medical point of view. I hadn't seen anything like it before." He shook his shaggy head. "Forgive me my curiosity, Harry. I am a scientist, and one who deals with the extraordinary every day, which is why I ask questions. Most of the time. Both body and mind are being trained and honed every day."

Before Harry could offer a retort, scathing or otherwise, the analysis device pinged. "That was quick," Harry remarked. "I thought DNA tests took a long time."

"Yes, but all this test was meant to do was to figure out whether you were a Mutant or not. The machinery is prohibitively expensive, in any case, as Reed Richards created it. It goes 'ding!', though, because my audience will not appreciate a detailed analysis, and in any case, it is said that simplicity is elegance itself," Hank said. "Of course, I do not know what your mutation is specifically, Harry. Not until it is unbound."

"So how can it be unbound?" Harry asked. He looked at Sophie. "You can do that, right?"

"Of course. It would definitely be easier than removing the Horcrux. But how safe that is…" Harry just flopped back onto the examination bed and jabbed a finger at his head. "It will be painful."

"I'm used to it," Harry muttered. "It can't be any worse than the Cruciatus."

He would later regret such a flippant choice of words. Really, he should have known better than to tempt the universe like that…

* * *

The best the Cuckoos could do for him, as Harry convulsed and screamed from what they were doing to him, was be there. As Sophie held his head in her hands, and the other four Cuckoos stood around him, they considered what to do next with the parts of their minds that weren't concentrating on removing the block on his powers. Quire had tried to hurt Harry once before. He would doubtless do so again.

Eventually, the block was removed, and Harry subsided. With a groan, he muttered, "That's what I get for daring the universe."

Remus chose that moment to burst in with Tonks. "Is he all right? I only just got notified that Harry was…"

"He's all right," Hank said soothingly. "Mr Foley has healed Harry's physical wounds, and the Cuckoos just removed a block on his powers. Believe it or not, Mr Lupin, Harry is a Mutant."

"He's not a psychic, or I would have felt it by now," Sophie said quietly as Remus and Tonks gaped. She frowned, only to suddenly recoil. "Okay, that was odd."

"What?" Hank asked.

"I just sent a psychic probe to him, but…it was reflected right back at me. A good thing it was only a light one too. The power of the returning probe had been…well, amplified."

"I'll let you in," Harry said. "If I can."

Sophie nodded, closing her eyes. "Well, I can make my way in, then."

"Extraordinary," Hank said. Then, he snapped his fingers. "I have an idea. Would either of you two use a spell on Harry? Preferably something very low-powered?"

Remus and Tonks looked at each other, before Remus took out his wand. "I'll try a Stinging Hex." He waved his wand, and a spell came out, only to bounce back and hit Remus. "OW! That's more powerful than I made it!"

"So it affects spells as well." Hank took out a laser pointer, and pointed it at Harry's torso, only for the pointer to explode into sparks. "Ow. And even a low-powered laser that wouldn't even burn skin," Hank said, shaking his singed hand with a wince. "An ability to reflect energy, even magic, beyond a certain threshold."

"Why did you think that would be the case?" Tonks asked.

"Well, I know a little about Harry's fame, about how he apparently survived the Killing Curse. When Sophie's mental probe was reflected, I had a hypothesis, well, more of a notion, based on a possible explanation for how he survived. That hypothesis has now been, if not confirmed, then strengthened. This is Harry's ability as a Mutant, to reflect an attack with increased power. This may very well be what allowed him to survive Voldemort's attack…"

 **CHAPTER 5 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **So, there you have it. The greater details of Harry's powers will be detailed later, but we'll discuss a few elements here. First, he can only reflect energy-based attacks. Physical attacks (like a direct punch, or the concussion or shrapnel from an explosion nearby) can still harm him. Secondly, while he has an automatic defence based on people he can see in front of him, he needs to actually use his defence consciously for all-around protection, front and back. So, he's far from invincible.**

 **Now, why give Harry such a power? Well, aside from explaining how he survived the Killing Curse (we'll go into more detail into Lily's role later, but rest assured, her sacrifice actually meant something, even in this story, and yes, Lily was a Mutant), it also gives him a good reason to be with the Cuckoos. His power can be manipulated in such a way that he can have a fellow Mutant fire an attack at him, and he can consciously amplify it and rebound it in another direction. For example, if the Cuckoos wanted to amplify their powers without using Cerebro, they can use Harry. It was this I had in mind when I thought of this power.**

 **Before I go onto the review-answering, let me remind some people who failed to read what I wrote in the previous chapter's annotations:** ** _if you don't like the way the story is going, then leave, and don't waste my time or yours complaining about it_** **. Yes, it is clichéd. But other people are enjoying it, and that's what matters to me. If you want a more complex and thoughtful story, I have plenty more, but I write to entertain first and foremost.**

 **Speaking of which, I am developing another crossover with** ** _X-Men_** **. It's a revamping of** ** _X-Celsior_** **, the crossover I had posted sample chapters in** ** _The Cauldron_** **. A number of factors forced me to drop the story initially: the harem was too crowbarred-in, and it was frankly turning out to be an also-ran of my** ** _Sekirei_** **crossover** ** _Wings of the Forsaken_** **. But while still a WBWL story with James and Sirius-bashing (no Dumbledore-bashing, though, so those who want a break from Dumbledore-bashing in my stories will be relieved), it's a considerably different one, with the WBWL being a secondary protagonist (albeit one who has a lot of growing to do before he can be a hero). The pairing, instead of a harem, is now strictly Harry/X-23. I won't be posting any sample chapters in** ** _The Cauldron_** **. Once I have enough chapters written, I will post it as its own story. The first chapter is written, but the second chapter, written as it is from the WBWL's POV, is another matter.**

 **Review-answering time!** **edboy4926** **: I've no idea, but if he does that, I think Thanos is going to get jealous.**

 **An-Fan-n-More** **: It's very different to what happened in canon. And Voldemort wouldn't stoop to ally himself with anyone in the Marvel-verse.**

 **SeanHicks4** **: It was the latter. MACUSA is a bit more lax in its drinking laws.**

 **WhiteElfElder** **: He'll be intimate with them all. They'll take turns.**

 **FinalKingdomHearts** **: I do not write lemons. I'm crap at it.**

 **BlazeStryker** **: It's as in canon: Xavier basically suppressed her emerging intelligence, though someone managed to free Danger before it became a problem for the rest of the X-Men. Danger is now on decent enough terms with most of the X-Men, but Xavier is not one of them.**

 **1\. Though most people will know it from the film version of** ** _V for Vendetta_** **, shortly before V knocks out a Fingerman in his first scene.**


	7. Chapter 6: Quire's Last Mistake

**CHAPTER 6:**

 **QUIRE'S LAST MISTAKE**

"Extraordinary," Charles said as he listened to Hank's report via video intercom. "So Harry has the ability to reflect attack?"

" _Indeed. With his permission, and after making sure Josh had healed him completely, I attempted a light punch, nothing that would leave more than a bruise. The attack got through, which means he can be physically attacked. But any kind of mental or energy attack, save for those he permits, gets redirected automatically. However, Auror Tonks used a Stinging Hex on Harry from behind, to see what would happen. He was affected, and I used a spare laser pointer to do the same. When I pointed it out to him, the laser was redirected, though this time, it merely hit the ceiling. It seems that he has two layers of defence that I can tell. The first is based on his own awareness. Any attack he can see, his abilities redirect automatically. But he can redirect his barrier consciously to envelop him entirely, I believe._ "

"Well, we shall leave testing the limits of his abilities until later. What actually happened in the Danger Room?"

 ** _Quire happened_**.

The voice of the Five-in-One echoed in Charles' head. He winced. It was as if a thunderstorm had spoken right next to his ear. _Girls…do you have any proof?_

 ** _His psychic spoor was all over Harry's mind. He may have been subtle infiltrating Harry's mind, but he wasn't good at cleaning up his tracks_** , the Five-in-One growled.

 _Girls…do not misunderstand me. Quentin will be punished. I will have Miss Frost see to it. But…_

 ** _HE TRIED TO KILL HARRY. WE WILL PUNISH HIM OURSELVES. DO NOT FEAR FOR HIS MISERABLE LIFE, PROFESSOR, IF THAT IS WHAT CONCERNS YOU. HE_** ** _WILL_** ** _LIVE THROUGH WHAT WE PUT HIM THROUGH_**.

"That's hardly reassuring," Charles said quietly to himself, wincing from the psychosomatic effects of the telepathic words' 'volume'. He knew that the Five-in-One were very much their mother's children in many regards. Like Emma, the Five-in-One got… _creative_ when it came to punishments. Especially when it came to those who attacked people under their care. And Quentin Quire was nowhere near the level of those who had been in the Brotherhood of Mutants.

" _The girls spoke to you, didn't they?_ " Hank said. " _They've been staying close to him. I find it surprising that, after such a short acquaintance, they have become protective of him. They have only had a one-night stand, and now, it's as if they are in love._ "

"I believe there are a few reasons for that. The first is that, as telepaths, they can examine Harry's mind thoroughly, and I believe something in him called to them. I wouldn't go so far as to call it love as much as the beginning of love," Charles said. "The second is, given Remus' admittedly-limited knowledge of how a magically-binding marriage works, there has to be considerable compatibility in the first place for the bond to work, otherwise, it would be rejected, and they wouldn't be bound. Otherwise, it would be abused as a form of chattel slavery. However, as the bond was accepted, there is something compatible, despite their inebriation at the time. They obviously see something in Harry that makes him worthy of them."

" _He spoke to you about that?_ " Hank asked.

"Yes, while Harry was being reassured by the Five-in-One, before his accident in the Danger Room. Jennifer was grateful for the information. Still, it'd be interesting for the Avengers to have a werewolf on their roster."

" _Interesting in the curse sense of the word_ ," Remus said in the background. " _What are you going to do about Quire?_ "

"As I told the girls, Miss Frost will see to Quire's punishment. I have sent her a message as we speak. And while she may have mellowed somewhat, remember that Miss Frost was once one of the Hellfire Club's most infamous members. She is also one of the world's strongest telepaths. Quire may be a prodigy, but Emma is considerably more experienced and, as much as it galls me to say it, ruthless…"

* * *

Emma Frost strode imperiously down the corridors of the X-Mansion, a woman on a mission. She had to admit, she actually liked being a teacher. There was something in that that appealed not only to her not-inconsiderable intellect, but also her maternal instincts. In fact, she was surprised that she even had maternal instincts, even before the Five-in-One arrived on the scene.

But she also still retained the ruthless streak that had made her infamous as the White Queen of the Hellfire Club. And as much as that peace-loving fool Xavier wanted to forget, Emma also had a malicious streak that had never gone away, even after she left the Hellfire Club for the X-Men. She intended to find out the truth from Quire, and punish him accordingly, though she had no doubt that her daughters had told her the truth when they thought Quire was responsible for nearly pushing Harry into killing himself.

The problem was, Quire was a prodigy when it came to telepathy. Lately, he'd been able to mask his presence from other telepaths. Emma would have admired such an ability if it weren't for the fact his arrogance and petulance made him dangerous. Xavier thought he could remedy that, but Emma was sure that verbally admonishing Quire wouldn't work. Quire believed himself to be a wolf amongst sheep. He had forgotten that Emma was very much a tigress.

Still, as she couldn't find him readily via telepathy, she had to do this the old-fashioned way. She came to his dorm's door, and rapped on it imperiously. "Quire, it's Professor Frost. Open the door immediately." There was no response. Noticing someone nearby, she looked over at them. She frowned when she realised it was X-23, aka Laura. And her claws were out.

Sensing something was wrong, Emma gently probed her mind, only recoil. Somehow, someone had managed to use the trigger scent on her. Or…she realised something with a thrill of horror…someone had psychically triggered the same mental pathways triggered by the trigger scent.

The trigger scent was a specific type of chemical Weapon X had developed. Whenever Laura smelled it, she was sent into an almost-unstoppable berserker rage. And given how she had claws laced with Adamantium…well, Frost's diamond form wouldn't be much good here.

Emma scowled, even as she called telepathically for back-up as Laura lunged. Either Weapon X's remnants had managed to infiltrate the X-Mansion, or Quire had sent Laura after her as a distraction. Either way, things were getting out of hand…

* * *

Quire was grinning viciously to himself, even as he worked as hard as he could on masking his presence. They thought they were so smart, but Quire was smarter. Infinitely so. Well, so he believed in the confines of his own skull.

It was ridiculously easy taking over that bitch who was cloned from Wolverine's offcuts. Well, just enough to plant a strong mental image of Frost, Grey, Summers, Xavier or Wolverine and trigger those pathways activated by the trigger scent. He'd had contingencies for this in place for a while.

To be frank, he was getting sick and tired of being in this place. It felt too restricting, too stifling. He could be out there, using his powers to their full potential, to gain the fame and power and riches he rightly deserved. But no, he was kept here, like it was a prison.

Well, he had plans. And what had happened with Potter and the Cuckoos had only stepped his plans up. He would kill Potter. He would make the X-Men turn on each other, and take Sophie out with him in the confusion. And he would **_make_** her see the love he had for her.

They would be protecting him from any psychic attack, at least from afar. But a frontal assault, they wouldn't suspect. Especially once he had softened them up a little…

* * *

"Will they get him?" Harry asked.

"I hope so," Hank said, frowning. "Quire is something of a prodigy, after all. Anyway, on a lighter note, it is tradition for a Mutant to adopt a nickname, often in relation to their powers. Mine is something of an appropriated appellation, I must confess, turning what was once an insult into a _nom de guerre_."

"What about Ricochet?" Remus asked. "Or Reflector? Or Mirror? Or Rebound?"

"…Actually, I like Rebound," Harry said. "Reflector and Mirror makes me sound like I should look like Colossus, and Ricochet may make me think I can reflect bullets. But I can't, can I?"

"No. For some reason, your powers don't recognise kinetic energy, at least of the mundane type, to be reflected. In any case…" Hank began, only to be cut off by a spell slamming into him from Remus' wand. Another spell felled Josh, and Tonks only had enough time to draw her wand before she was sent sprawling.

" _Quire_ ," the Cuckoos chorused. The four Cuckoos barring Sophie had their eyes flare blue, with Remus convulsing, screaming, before collapsing to the floor. But Tonks rose to her feet, and sent a Blasting Hex. The Cuckoos shifted into their diamond forms in time to be hurled into the walls, with Sophie staying near Harry.

And then the door opened, revealing Quire, sneering. Harry noticed that he seemed, expression aside, rather unremarkable. Brown-haired, wearing glasses, he could have been a normal, if somewhat bookish, student. But the expression was filled with hatred and contempt for Harry. Quire brought the others to their feet, their expressions blank, and set them on the four Cuckoos, barring Sophie.

"You bastard," Quire snarled, glaring at Harry. "She is mine!"

"I am not yours, Quire," Sophie said coldly. She wasn't attacking Quire psychically because she was trying to shore up Harry's defences, and the others couldn't do so because they were in their diamond forms. "None of us are."

"Shut up! I'm going to prove that I'm better than this guy!" With that, he unleashed his most powerful psychic attack.

Now, Quire was so obsessed with taking control of his victims, he hadn't bothered looking too deeply into their memories. He thought himself a genius, and let's face it, that wasn't without some merit. But he was blinded by hormones and arrogance, and he didn't think to check whether Harry had any powers that could overcome him.

A wave of psychic force burst from him, heading straight for Harry. Harry could actually see it rippling and distorting the air. And then it hit him. He felt, briefly, like he was compressed slightly, like a tension in his body, before it sprang back. The wave, even more powerful than before, smashed back, and Quire had only just enough time for his eyes to widen comically before it hit.

When it hit him, his body was flung back. For a nightmarish moment, as Quire hoarsely screamed in pain, Harry could see the layers of his body, his circulatory system, nerves, organs and muscles, trailing behind him like time lapse images. It hadn't actually happened like that, they were just getting the backwash from the psychic attack affecting Quire(1).

Then, Quire crashed into some lab equipment, twitched briefly, and then was still. Drool dripped from his mouth, and a darkening stain on his trousers suggested he had soiled himself. Equipment everywhere sparked and went out.

Hank, Josh, Remus and Tonks stopped attacking the Cuckoos, before shaking their heads. "Oh, that son of a bitch!" Tonks snarled. "Where is he? I'm going to castrate the little bastard for molesting my head!"

"He probably won't feel it," Sophie said, pointing to Quire's catatonic form. Catatonic, because Harry could see him breathing.

Hank walked over, and examined him, wrinkling his nose at the smell. " _For 'tis the sport of the engineer to be hoist with his own petard_ ," he murmured.

"Another _Hamlet_ quote?" Remus asked(2).

"It seems apposite. Girls, is he all right?"

Esme rolled her eyes. "He's not dead, if that's what you mean."

"But other than that, it's rather tricky," Irma added.

"He sought to lobotomise Harry with that attack, but it rebounded and hit him with greater force," Celeste pointed out.

"He was destroyed by his own attack. He'll be lucky if he can feed himself after a year," Phoebe concluded.

"Kindly refrain from being so flippant, girls," Hank said. "Though I must say that Harry's ability has more than shown its power. Quire did bring this upon himself."

"Bastard," Tonks spat. "What he did made the Imperius feel gentle. Moody put me under that during training, and that was bad enough, but this…what're you going to do with him?"

"I'll put him on life-support, for now. We'll decide what to do with him later."

Harry couldn't muster up any sympathy for Quire. Quire had tried to lobotomise him psychically, out of petty spite, and that was after he had taken control of Harry's mind and forced him to nearly kill himself. It was hard to feel anything but anger and hate towards someone because of that.

Still, he had to admit, his powers were pretty useful. They may not be directly offensive, but as Quire just showed, they could be ridiculously dangerous in the right situation.

Then and there, Harry made a resolution. Well, it wasn't so much a resolution as much as an affirmation of what he already intended. He was going to go back to Britain and put paid to Voldemort and his followers for once and for all. And if Mutants were discriminated against in Magical Britain, then he'd rather stay here…

 **CHAPTER 6 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **So, Quire got curbstomped, though not before causing a lot of trouble. Don't worry, X-23 managed to get over her brainwashing…though not before gutting her dad. It happens.**

 **The next chapter may be a little while yet. So, be patient. Yeah, I know, that's a four-letter word on the internet.**

 **Review-answering time! Firstly, thanks for the praise for my chosen power. I deliberately wanted to avoid something flashy or OP, but at the same time, I wanted a power that would complement the Cuckoos' own powers. I considered making Harry a psychic himself, but that's been done, especially in stories where Harry is related to Jean Grey. Giving him the ability to rebound energy attacks not only allows him to do so (by rebounding the Cuckoos' attacks at someone else), but also explains how he survived the Killing Curse. How that ties into Lily, as mentioned in the previous chapter, will be discussed later.**

 **edboy4926** **: It depends. He could reflect the energy enhancement, but direct kinetic energy would still get through.**

 **AnFan-n-More** **: You have a point, but in most cases, his allies will be able to duck and cover.**

 **Zyber Elthone** **: When I say that he sees, I mean his opponent. His powers do the rest. As long as he can see his opponent, the attack his reflected automatically.**

 **SeanHicks4** **: Not exactly. Bishop absorbs the attacks, while Harry reflects them.**

 **sandmanwake** **: Technically, yes, but we're focusing on the Five-in-One.**

 **DZ2** **: Glad you like it, and he made a good one in this chapter too. Okay, he's quoting from the same play again, but it's such a good quote, I couldn't resist.**

 **agnar** **: You have a point, but I like X-23.**

 **Eating Upside Down** **: I have to admit, you've got a very good point, which was why I wrote in some dialogue between Charles and Hank. While the Cuckoos and Harry aren't actually in love per se, the Cuckoos have seen into Harry's mind enough that they actually feel a bond with him. In addition, I also wrote in that part about the magical marriage (specifically the one with the family rings) only working when there's compatibility between the prospective spouses. It's a bit of covering my arse.**

 **That being said, part of the problem is due to the very nature of the Blood Brandy challenge. It involves a Las Vegas wedding, FFS! In any case, it's my story, and I take it in the direction I want to. And please don't insult me by questioning my intelligence: given the popularity of this story so far, I must be doing** ** _something_** **right. If you don't like my story, then leave, don't bother leaving a review, and don't let the door hit you on the way out.**

 **1\. One of the images I remember vividly of the confrontation between Quire and the Cuckoos in the comics was when he gets blasted by their psychic abilities, and you see the layers of his body as he is flung back. A grotesque image, but a striking and iconic one, one I tried to replicate here.**

 **2\. Yes, Hank has quoted from** ** _Hamlet_** **again, this time, Act 3, Scene 4. A petard was a kind of bomb used in sieges, and those setting them risked being blown up, or 'hoist' into the air. Oddly enough, Hamlet uses 'petar' in the original text, and some think this was a Shakespearean fart joke. No, really.**


	8. Chapter 7: Aftermath

**CHAPTER 7:**

 **AFTERMATH**

Remus scowled as he watched the naked form of Quire, with tubes inserted into his body, floated in the tank. That boy had, in a fit of jealousy, controlled him like a Death Eater using the fucking Imperius Curse. All because Harry had wed a girl Quire was infatuated over. And he had also tried to make Harry kill himself in the first place. He could feel Moony's hackles rising, and was sorely tempted to unleash the werewolf, if he could.

As he glared at the now catatonic teen, he felt a hand settle on his shoulder. He turned to find the suit-wearing form of Jennifer. It was strange, seeing a muscled, green-skinned woman wearing a business suit like that, but he knew she was a lawyer of some repute, and it seemed strangely fitting despite her green skin. "You okay?" Jennifer asked. "Oh, right, stupid question, what with Quire mind-raping you guys. Been there, done that, bought the badly-fitting T-shirt. It's not fun. And believe me, I've gone through some crap before as part of the Avengers. Having someone screw around with your head is definitely in the Bottom 5."

Remus sighed quietly. "I agree. It's just…I'm trying to protect Harry, and this little bastard nearly made me kill him. If a teenager can do that, what's to stop a Death Eater from doing the same?"

"Look, you messed up. That happens. And Quire had an advantage in that he could do it from afar, without you guys knowing. From what I know, spells like the Imperius need a wizard to actually be in relatively close range to cast the spell, and it's easier to shake off if you have the will. You're not weak, Remus, just a little out of your depth, dealing with Mutants and Mutates. Plus, you shouldn't have had an enemy here in this place. The problem is, though, this is an academy for kids and teens with superpowers. A friend of mine often says 'with great power comes great responsibility', but try telling that to a moody superpowered teenager muddled by hormones."

Remus couldn't help but laugh at that. "Still, what Harry did to him…I think that might have been how he survived the Killing Curse."

"Yeah, Hank was telling me about that. He could reflect energy attacks and psychic attacks, but not physical ones. So, I guess I'd probably be able to take him down," Jennifer chuckled. "But seriously, that'd be useful fighting against Voldemort."

Remus nodded, but he found himself more and more troubled by something else. Eventually, he asked, "Jennifer…are you really fine with being with me?"

"If it's about you being a werewolf or a wizard, I'm fine either way. I've dealt with worse than a werewolf. At least you know when you become a monster and can get out of the way. Bruce hulks out if he gets too stressed. Which reminds me, I'll have to ask the others and see whether he's come back into the fold. Anyway, my point is, Remus, it'll take a lot more than you being a werewolf to scare me off. I've fought off beings that have been mistaken for gods, and there's scarier people than you right here in this mansion." She then smirked, waggling her eyebrows pointedly. "Besides, we had a really good time in that hotel room. I look forward to more."

"…But what if we can't make it work out?"

"Those rings, like the ones Harry wore, would only let us be bound if there was enough compatibility. I think we can make it work out…"

* * *

"So, you messed Quire up good, huh?" Wolverine was saying to Harry as he and the Cuckoos walked down the corridors, along with Laura and Emma. "I woulda messed him up myself for giving Laura's mind the bad touch."

Laura grimaced. "He made me feel like I had smelled the trigger scent."

"Trigger scent?" Harry asked.

"When Laura was being trained by Weapon X, they engineered a special scent that, when she smells it, she goes into a berserker rage, killing anyone in the vicinity," Emma explained. "Considering that she has Adamantium-laced claws and a healing factor, that means she's almost unstoppable."

"Yeah. Laura pretty much gutted me like a fish. Luckily, I got better. Healing factor's good for cheating death," Wolverine said, touching his now-healed stomach under his shredded shirt. "Better me than someone who can't heal fast, though, so don't feel bad about it, Laura."

"I feel more bad about Quire getting into my head so easily in the first place," Laura said with a bitter scowl. "Especially as it was Miss Frost who I was sent to attack. Diamond may be a hard substance, but Adamantium is even harder, and if I hit the right point…"

"I'm well aware of that, Laura," Emma said archly. "Which means it's just as well you didn't get the chance to kill me while I was in my diamond form."

"Couldn't you just use your psychic powers while in that form?" Harry asked, more of the Cuckoos than Emma.

The quintuplets, along with their mother, shook their heads almost simultaneously. "In any case, in light of today's events, we'll postpone more intensive training of your powers until later," Emma said. "That being said, girls, I expect you to help teach Potter mental defences. If his powers are restricted to automatically reflecting attacks he is aware of, then having other standing mental defences would be a good idea."

The Cuckoos nodded, and Sophie looked at Laura. "Would you like to join in, Laura?"

"I'll take a raincheck for now," Laura said. "But I do intend to work on my mental defences later. I'm going to take a shower, see if I can't wash away the feeling of having Quire in my skull."

"Ugh, we know _that_ feeling," Irma said with a grimace.

"Sorry Quire hurt you because of me, Laura," Harry said to the dark-haired teenager.

"It's fine, I've dealt with far worse," Laura said, her face falling at some painful recollection. "Much worse. Anyway, it was Quire being a jealous little shit that caused it, not you."

"Watch your language, Laura," Wolverine said.

"This coming from one of the most foul-mouthed members of the X-Men?" Emma asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Don't throw stones, Frost," Wolverine growled. "Remember what you wore while White Queen of the Hellfire Club?"

"And? That was then, and this is now," Emma said archly.

"You still wear get-ups that are inappropriate for the teacher of an institute like this," Laura pointed out.

"And it's irritating seeing the masturbatory fantasies of those who lust after you," Sophie said. "As our mother, you should be a better example."

"Potter," Emma said icily to her new son-in-law after a pause. "I expect you to use some sort of protection for some time. I'm not yet ready to be a grandmother, and if I am any indication, then these five aren't ready to be mothers themselves. Am I understood?"

"Yes, ma'am," Harry said hurriedly. After all, you tended to agree with someone who could rape your mind, especially if she's your mother-in-law…

* * *

Charles pinched the bridge of his nose as he finished listening to Hank's report. Yet another failure to add to the litany, yet another black spot that marred his cause. Quentin Quire would be added to a long list that included his suppression of Danger's intelligence, the unleashing of Onslaught, the devastation of Genosha, and the emergence of Cassandra Nova. And that was without going into his old friend and frequent enemy, Erik Lehnsherr, aka Magneto.

Still, learning the truth about Harry Potter's power was intriguing. Its potential was frightening, and yet, Charles thought it oddly fitting. "Is everyone, barring Quentin, well after this?"

Hank rubbed at his head. "As well as we can be, considering. I haven't felt this way since Nova had her wretched way with our minds. In a perverse manner, it is worse with Quire, given that Nova was born from evil. Quire was just a teenaged boy acting out of envy and jealousy, and yet, he committed such an act."

"It is tragic, and the only consolation is that Quentin was the only victim of his own foolish acts. I hope in time he comes back, but in a way we can reach him so he cannot do this again. Though that may be overly optimistic." Charles leaned back in his chair. "Still, that is one crisis over with for the time being. However, I am sure that another will eventuate, especially given Harry's presence here. It seems that the Ministry of Magic in Britain has found out about Harry's presence in Las Vegas in the company of my students and teachers. I am told that no less an august personage than the current Minister for Magic himself wishes to contact Harry, though he is currently negotiating with MACUSA."

"And may I ask who that is?" Hank asked.

"Rufus Scrimgeour," Charles said. "A former Auror with the British DMLE, and once the head of the department. I've spoken to Doctor Strange about him. He's somewhat of a decisive leader, albeit occasionally for the wrong reasons. He is also not on good terms with Professor Dumbledore, though I'm not sure whether that's a good thing or a bad thing. After all, as you and I well know, Mutants are not generally viewed favourably by wizards. It tends to be Newbloods and Halfbloods raised in mundane households more than Purebloods who view us other than creatures. And even then, that is no guarantee."

Hank nodded. "There is enough prejudice against Mutants in normal society. But leaving that aside, Harry's Mutant abilities were bound by someone, according to the Five-in-One. Is that possible? I mean, I know that some anti-Mutant groups have developed implants that suppress Mutant abilities, but using magic to do so?"

"I will have to talk to Stephen about that, but what I know about magic does suggest it's possible. Magic doesn't have limits as much as consequences and difficulty. However, to bind such a fundamental part of one's being would take considerable power and/or skill. And as it may have been that ability that allowed him to deflect the Killing Curse against Voldemort…actually, that does concern me. Not the ability itself, but rather, the age Harry was at."

"I can see why. It's somewhat unusual for Mutant abilities to awake before adolescence, and rare to happen during infancy," Hank said. "My physiology and physiognomy is the exception rather than the rule. For it to happen during infancy…"

"We'll have to investigate this. What little Remus and Stephen have told me suggested that, for those who believe that something other than an innate ability of Harry's deflected the Killing Curse, it was probably Lily Potter using some sort of ritual fuelled by a willing sacrifice. I'm going to ask Remus whether there were any signs that either parent may have been a Mutant. And if he would have any idea who would be placed to place bindings on Harry's power. Though I fear I already suspect the answer…"

* * *

Harry was once more within his mindscape, the Cuckoo by his side. They were sitting by the side of the Black Lake, staring across the water. They had come back into his mindscape so that she could set up more mental defences for him. "So, what are we doing about my mental defences?"

"We are working on them as we speak," the Cuckoo said. She indicated the castle behind them, and Harry peered over. He saw a few damaged parts flow back together.

"Thanks. I'm grateful," Harry said.

"Even with your power, it wouldn't do to have our husband compromised," the Cuckoo said.

"Yeah, I'm still getting used to that. You know, the whole 'gestalt entity' thing. Maybe I should come up with a name for you. You know, just to not think of you as just 'the Cuckoo'. You deserve a name."

The Cuckoo scoffed quietly. "We do not need one."

"Humour me. Well, your names as the Five-in-One make up the word 'spice'. So…let's see…Ginger? No. Umm, Pepper? No, isn't that Tony Stark's secretary?"

"Her real name is Virginia, but yes, that would not be a good choice."

"Well…oh! I have an idea! Saffron. Saffron Cuckoo."

The Cuckoo considered this for a time, before nodding, a smile touching her lips. "Yes…a good choice. You may refer to us as Saffron when you are linked to us." She looked across the landscape. "We have to admit, this is a beautiful place. Like something out of a fairy tale. It makes the X-Mansion look mundane by comparison."

"I know. Even with the dangers that have occurred here, this is more like home to me than the Dursleys." Harry sagged. "I just hope you're wrong about Dumbledore…because if that's the case, how much of my life has been a lie? Have my friends really been my friends? Can I trust anyone?"

After a moment, Saffron said, "Going through your memories, we think you can trust them, to a degree. Ronald is something of a fair-weather friend, but we still think he genuinely wants to be your friend, and he stood by you many other times before. And Hermione's issues are her quixotic tendencies and her belief in authority figures. If they are agents of those who want to harm you, they are unwitting ones. True, they did not contact you on Dumbledore's say-so, but they did so believing it was the best way to help you. We will vet them to make sure, but we believe they should be fine. It is more senior members of the Order you should be worried about, namely Snape. We believe him to be on nobody's side but his own. We are sure of this because our mother, while working for the X-Men, is on her own side rather than their side. Snape has a similar feel, only worse."

"…Only look into their minds with their permission, please," Harry said quietly. "Ron and Hermione, anyway. Snape…well, I give you full permission to turn his brain inside out."

Saffron smirked at the cold venom in his tone. "Yet another reason to like you. Because beneath the Golden Boy of Gryffindor is a vindictive man after our own hearts."

Harry rolled his eyes. "Hey, he's got a grudge against me because of my dad. He raped my mind repeatedly. Turnabout's fair play. Though I want to ask one thing: don't flay his mind until he tries using Legilimency on me again." He matched Saffron's smirk. "I want to see what happens when he tries to use Legilimency on a Mutant with my abilities."

Soft, malevolent chuckles came from the two at the thought of much-deserved payback happening to Snape. It didn't bode well for the greasy-haired Potions teacher, not one bit…

 **CHAPTER 7 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **So, the X-Men are licking their wounds after Quire's hissy fit, and Harry and the Cuckoos are plotting sweet, sweet revenge against Snape. Mwahahahaha!**

 **Next chapter might be about Dumbledore, Hermione and Ron's thoughts on what is happening.**

 **Anyway, giving the Cuckoo gestalt a name. I was, frankly, looking for things to pad out the wordcount somewhat, and had this little revelation. Given that the gestalt seems to be her own entity, or at least different enough from the individual Cuckoos to warrant being her own identity, I decided to give her her own name. Because the Cuckoos got the name 'SPICE' in their initials, I decided to choose the name of a spice for the gestalt. I chose Saffron partly because it's a girl's name, but also because, given that their mother, Emma, has a rather haughty, upper-class air, I thought it fitting to give the gestalt the name of one of the most expensive spices in the world. No, really.**

 **Review-answering time! A few of you noted (with good humour) that I was a bit flippant about Logan getting gutted by Laura. Well, compared to being blown up and reduced to an Adamantium skeleton with a few scraps of flesh, well, getting disembowelled is a doddle by comparison. Laura, once she recovered, was understandably distraught. She has a decent enough relationship with her father in this story.**

 **Also, I didn't have in mind Accelerator's power from** ** _A Certain Magical Index_** **and** ** _A Certain Scientific Railgun_** **, as I haven't actually read beyond the first volume of the manga, and only know scraps of the story. I just wanted to do a power for Harry that would NOT make him OP, but would still be useful, and would also allow for some synergy with the Cuckoos. Actually, in retrospect, having just gotten into** ** _Worm_** **fanfic, I can see a lot of other good superpowers, though this 'reflection' power is still pretty damned good and pretty apposite.**

 **SmacksKiller** **: Harry will NOT be moving to the US full time any time soon. In fact, I see him and the Cuckoos more likely to go to Muir Island and join Excalibur (and Moira will actually be mentioned in the next chapter. Yes, she's alive in this story). And you have a point.**

 **suikofan** **: Yeah, good point. I think I subconsciously thought of the 'Reflect' spell from the** ** _Final Fantasy_** **games, and there's an ability in at least one game (** ** _Final Fantasy IX_** **, though there may be others) where spells bounced off a Reflect do more damage…though in the recent re-release of** ** _Final Fantasy IX_** **, I seem to recall a bug that causes problems with the Reflect x2 ability.**

 **Mystolon** **: Look, I needed to give the power limitations. Yes, kinetic energy is a form of energy. But for the sake of this story, and ensuring Harry isn't too OP, physical attacks still hurt like a bitch. Anyway, how many comic book superpowers make sense with the laws of physics? Just repeat to yourself the MST3K Mantra. That being said, thank you for your compliment. I had to think pretty hard for a power that didn't make Harry OP, tempting though it was.**

 **DZ2** **: Sadly, there wasn't enough time. It happened within a couple of seconds. But doing a Bond-style post-mortem one-liner (so to speak, as Quire's not actually dead) was certainly a missed opportunity. The closest we got was Hank quoting** ** _Hamlet_** **.**

 **Jostanos** **: Well, 'get thee to a nunnery' was one, apparently, as 'nunnery' was a euphemism for a brothel, apparently. And when I quoted Malvolio from Twelfth Night in one of my works (the sample chapters of** ** _Mad Scientists Can Be Heroes Too!_** **, a** ** _Girl Genius_** **and** ** _My Hero Academia_** **crossover I posted in** ** _Quatermass' Compost Heap_** **, plug plug), someone claimed it was Shakespeare doing a dick joke.**

 **No numbered annotations this time.**


	9. Chapter 8: Reaction

**CHAPTER 8:**

 **REACTION**

Hermione was annoyed at what Harry had done. Not because Dumbledore had objected to it: she had found her faith in the man wavering after all that happened last year, and she didn't think it was a truly bad idea that Harry had been emancipated. And to tell the truth, she felt that Harry needed a holiday, time away from the Dursleys to come to terms with the death of his godfather. That, she had no objection to. The fact that Sirius had left her a number of rare books helped matters (and Ron got a broomstick signed by the Chudley Cannons, and they both got trust funds, as did Ginny).

The part she objected to was taking Harry to _Las Vegas_. Sin City. It would have been a good holiday for Sirius Black, true, but Harry was underaged. He couldn't gamble or drink! Wouldn't Disneyworld be a better time if they went over to the US for a holiday?

And, now, Molly was ranting about some news that she had just heard from Dumbledore. Ginny was crying, and Ron looked torn between being jealous and happy for his friend. And Hermione? Well, she felt a headache coming on, partly from Molly's self-righteous ranting and the volume thereof, and partly because of the subject matter.

Harry Potter had managed to get _married_ in Las Vegas. And, according to Gringotts, it was to one 'Sophie Frost'. Molly had thrust at Hermione the letter she had been handed by Dumbledore, a copy of a letter sent by Gringotts, and she found herself studying the address. She blinked. She knew that address. That was the Xavier's School for Higher Learning, aka the X-Mansion. And Sophie Frost? It seemed likely that, whoever that was, she was a relation of Emma Frost, the infamous former White Queen of the Hellfire Club.

It was a little-known fact that Hermione actually had a second cousin, on her mother's side, with a connection to the X-Men. Her mother used to joke that Hermione had gotten her cousin's brains, and while Hermione wasn't anywhere near the genius her second cousin was, her mother had a point.

"Mrs Weasley," Hermione said quietly. "Before you go and do anything rash, I need you to listen."

Molly halted in her tirade, derailed, before she recovered, and looked at Hermione. "Hermione, dear, I need to think about how we are going to deal with this."

"Mrs Weasley, if I'm right, Harry's new mother-in-law or sister-in-law is not someone you want to mess with. Do you know anything about Mutants? The X-Men?"

Ron frowned. "Mutants? Are you saying this girl's a Mutant?"

Molly wrinkled her nose in distaste. "A hussy _and_ a Mutant?" Her tone suggested less hatred and more disdain, and perhaps some fear for Harry.

Hermione thought back to what she heard Emma Frost was in the habit of wearing while still in the Hellfire Club, and winced at how accurate Molly's assessment was, for Emma, anyway. "Harry's wife is named Sophie Frost. One of the key X-Men is called Emma Frost. She's also one of the most powerful." She nearly told them that Emma Frost was one of the most powerful telepaths in the world, only to stop short. The first reason why was that they may not know what telepathy was, and she would have to explain it as being something like Legilimency and the Imperius rolled into one, along with other spells like Memory Charms and the like. The second reason was that, the moment they understood, they might assume that Harry was controlled or coerced into marrying this girl or woman.

Hermione considered the possibility, true, but she was sure that the X-Men were the good guys. True, Emma had been a villain, but she had reformed and joined the X-Men, and she'd have better things to do than controlling the Boy Who Lived. She hoped.

"So, she's got powers or something?" Ron asked. "I wonder what kind? Some of them are pretty cool, I guess. But how did Harry end up with one in Las Vegas?"

"I don't know. The X-Men must've been on holiday or something there. But the X-Mansion is in New York," Hermione said.

Molly sniffed. "He should have stayed in Britain. Dumbledore knows what he's doing."

Ron rolled his eyes. "Yeah, and that did so well." As Molly wheeled on him, ready to once more imitate one of her famous Howlers, Ron, amazingly, stood his ground. "Dumbledore told us not to contact Harry while he was mourning Cedric. We were told to keep him in the dark, for his own good. And you know what? He got really angry with us, and looking back on it, I can't blame him one bit! Dumbledore let that Umbridge woman in to teach DADA, and she was worthless! I don't think Dumbledore's helping anyone!"

"Don't you dare talk back to me, Ronald Bilious Weasley!"

"What, because I'm not kissing Dumbledore's feet?" Ron wrinkled his nose in disgust. "Merlin, imagine the Athlete's Foot down there. I'm on Harry's side, not Dumbledore's, Mum. How is that talking back to you?"

Wow. That was…uncharacteristically thoughtful of Ron. True, he had been somewhat of a fairweather friend for Harry a couple of times, but either the Department of Mysteries had been a major wake-up call for him, or something else had happened, Hermione reflected.

As Mount Molly seemed set to explode, Hermione decided to beat a hasty retreat. As she did so, she pulled out her mobile. Normally meant for her to contact her parents, she found herself dialling a number she had all but forgotten, before making the call. After a few rings, she heard it being picked up. " _Muir Island Research Facility_ ," said a tired, Scottish-accented voice. " _Dr MacTaggert speaking._ "

"Auntie Moira, it's me."

" _Oh, Hermione! Sorry, I've been busy. God, but it's been a while since you called me, Hermione. You feeling all right? I heard you got injured not so long ago. It was all I could do not to storm up to Hogwarts and give that old Sassenach Dumbledore a piece of my mind._ " Moira MacTaggert sighed. " _I'm guessing you called for a reason. And I think I can guess why. Your friend, Potter, wasn't it?_ "

Hermione nodded. "I just received news he was…married, in Las Vegas, of all places, to someone called Sophie Frost. And given that the letter showed her address to be the X-Mansion…"

" _Aye, I see what you mean. Long story short, Sophie Frost is the legal name of one of multiple clones of Emma Frost, known as the Stepford Cuckoos, five of whom are with Charles. I was told about the marriage by the other clones, who are amongst my assistants here. I dunno the details, but Harry's effectively married to them._ "

"…Them?" Hermione asked with a sinking feeling.

" _The Cuckoos are a gestalt, Hermione. It's a wee bit difficult to describe, but while each of the Cuckoos technically have their own consciousness and personality, they are actually one linked being, a psychic superorganism. Not that it won't stop some Sassenachs from defining it as polygamy._ "

Hermione knew Moira had a point. "…If I can find a way to get there, can I speak to you, and to the Cuckoos?"

" _Sure. If the time's right, I can even have you talk to Harry via video link to New York. Or better yet, I'll send someone to pick you up._ "

Hermione looked back at the Burrow, where Ron was trying to endure Hurricane Howler Molly, and doing a surprisingly good job of it. "Do you know where I am?"

" _Well, I can trace the phone if you like, but I'd prefer to know._ "

"I'm in Ottery St Catchpole in Devon," Hermione said. "I might bring some friends. We've got something of a gale going on at the moment."

" _You mean a banshee. I can hear her in the background. Makes my ears ring. If you want, I'll get more precise coordinates from your phone, and then I'll send someone over_ …"

* * *

Dumbledore glared at the instruments, as if hoping they would get back to working order by sheer force of will. But no, they stubbornly refused to be anything but broken. Only the instruments monitoring Harry's health remained.

The emancipation had dissolved many of the bonds Harry had placed on him, particularly those relating to the instruments in his office. Sirius probably didn't know what he was doing, at least in finer details, but the canny Black almost certainly knew that he was cutting a lot of the strings on Harry. Sirius had argued with Dumbledore incessantly last year, and his demise, while unintended, was wholly serendipitous. It meant that Dumbledore had even more control over Harry than ever…

Except that Sirius had arranged one great big _Fuck You_ from beyond the Veil. And Dumbledore, despite his regained influence, couldn't do a damned thing about it. Black had arranged it with the Goblins, who were notoriously mercenary, and Dumbledore, while he had regained some of his influence, prestige and positions, was still trying to reconsolidate those things when it happened.

Harry didn't need those positions. At least, not yet. If he survived the trials to come, if he survived Voldemort, then yes, Dumbledore would magnanimously grant him said positions and titles as a just reward for his efforts. All to make the boy more and more grateful to his saviour. If Harry perished, or got too wilful…well, the Black and Potter estates would do nicely as funding for Hogwarts and for Dumbledore's purse. Either way was fine: Dumbledore could shape Neville Longbottom into the heir of his legacy if Harry proved unsuitable. He'd been doing it subtly and gradually these years, while paying more attention to Harry. Longbottom would probably be a more pliable pawn. But Harry was THE Boy Who Lived, and under Dumbledore's careful guidance, he would become his successor.

Though he also had something to hold over the boy's head. That he was a Mutant, a thing treated with more disdain than even Muggleborns.

Dumbledore had been startled to learn that Lily was a Mutant, and that her son had shared that ability. Lily had revealed that, albeit reluctantly, at a meeting of the Order when she was seen to deflect the Killing Curse with her bare hand, hitting someone Dumbledore had hopes to redeem…or at least hold in debt to him. Lily had been utterly unrepentant at the death, and worse, was beginning to rebel against Dumbledore, as was James, who, despite Britain's stance on Mutants, loved his wife too much. But with the prophecy needing a martyr, Dumbledore decided to bind Lily's power, and wipe her memories, along with that of those attending the meeting.

However, she must have undone the bindings shortly before Voldemort's attack, or at least those on her memories. Unable to use her abilities to defend her family, she apparently used a modified version of the sacrificial ritual he had steered her towards to not only grant Harry protection, but to transfer her bound powers to Harry. The results, needless to say, were spectacular, and Dumbledore was forced to bind Harry's powers. He needed Harry to become as powerful as Dumbledore needed him to be, not any stronger.

And yet, if the letter he had been sent by Gringotts was any indication, it was possible that Harry would soon rediscover those thrice-damned powers of his. The reason why Dumbledore thought this was the address relating to 'Sophie Frost'. Dumbledore knew of Xavier's little school for Mutants, mostly due to having to deal with the MACUSA representatives complaining about it at the ICW, when they weren't complaining about the Avengers or that Kamar-Taj upstart Stephen Strange. Sorcerer Supreme, his foot: Dumbledore had more claim to that than a Muggle the Kamar-Taj taught how to use a foul magic.

Of course, it wasn't like Dumbledore could just charge over there, grab Harry, and get back. The Goblins had delayed sending him notification, he was sure, out of spite, and Harry was, in all likelihood, at the X-Mansion. And as powerful as Dumbledore was, especially with the Elder Wand, MACUSA wasn't well-inclined towards the British, and would take umbrage to him being there. Not to mention that there were all sorts of Mutants, with all sorts of powers. Even attempts at doing so diplomatically would fail, given the telepaths they had on-site, who could potentially break through Occlumency barriers, even if only by brute force. Xavier might not do so, or at least not press, but what about that Phoenix woman, or that appalling Frost? Who could very well be a relative of this Sophia?

It was considering what to do next that took up his time. He had sent a copy to Molly Weasley to inculcate some outrage to further get the woman on his side: she meant well, but she had a fixation on Harry marrying into the family via Ginny. So she was a useful pawn.

Still, one thing was for certain. Harry, even if he was trying to cut the strings, would come back to Britain. His sense of honour would prevent him from simply staying away while Voldemort rampaged across Britain. And once back, Dumbledore would make sure that he would be put back on strings, in earnest.

Though Dumbledore would have to be careful. He had been nearly knocked out by Lily reflecting a Stunner, and he knew he needed to catch Harry unawares to get any spell to work if his powers were working. He had managed it with Lily by distracting her. He wouldn't make any mistakes this time with Harry. Harry would either become his protégé…or his martyr. Either way was fine…

 **CHAPTER 8 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **So, we have the Banshee and the Bastard reacting. Oh, and Hermione has an unexpected connection, one that I admittedly didn't plan, but, hey, it's not out of the question for Hermione to be a relative of Moira.**

 **Now, let me make this clear: I'm not actually going to do all-out bashing of Molly or Ginny. Molly's reacting mostly because she thinks Harry is too young to get married (Hermione agrees, but doesn't scream about it) and that Sirius, Remus, and Tonks fucked up. Her attitude towards Mutants is prejudiced, but she'll come to deal with it as the story goes on. And Ginny's upset because her chance to marry Harry's gone. She'll get better, don't worry. They both will.**

 **Dumbledore, though…yeah, I'm bashing the fuck out of him.**

 **Incidentally, I'm not going to write out that ridiculous thick Scottish accent of Moira's from the comics. I'm just going to add some Scottish words and interjections here and there. It's like with Hagrid or Fleur: doing that properly is a fucking headache.**

 **Review-answering time!** **Dawn Ryder113** **: …No.**

 **Yorae Resantae** **: Sadly for you, he's going to be pretty much a selfish villain in this story. While there are stories where I make Snape a better character, when I bash Dumbledore, I tend to bash Snape too, and he frankly deserves it. He is NOT a good man in canon. Much of what he does is for utterly selfish reasons because he can't get over his crush on Lily. I'm not saying he never loved her, but Snape never seems to use his love for her to get over his hate for Harry. That being said, if you want a good Severitus fic, you can't go wrong with** ** _The Best Revenge_** **and its sequel by the late Arsinoe de Blassenville.**

 **Alastor999** **: Thanks. I personally found myself intrigued by them after the first time I read the graphic novels of Grant Morrison's run on** ** _X-Men_** **.**

 **No numbered annotations this time.**


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